Silver

Wow. I am really bad at daily blogging.

I will soon write a post about last week's crazy-ass dinner, and a follow-up to my burlesque rant. In the meantime, I found out today that an article I published in a recent issue of U Magazine won a silver award from the Council for Advancement and Support of Education. I don't exactly know what that means, but it made me re-read the article. I'm kind of proud of how it came out.

If you have a moment, take a peek. Here it is.

Thinning the Competition

In writing the previous blog post, I discovered that the illustrious Dr. Mark Hopkins has moved to Nova Scotia.

Calgary is mine!

The Globe and Mark

I was at work this week, busy doing something, when I got a call on my cell from an unknown number. I ignored it, probably a credit card company or a stalker.

That afternoon, I checked my voicemail.

"Mark, it's Corinne calling from Harvey Weingarten's office at the University of Calgary, and I'm calling with a very late invitation. My fault, I've been away on the Christmas break, and I returned just this week.

"The editor-in-chief of the Globe & Mail, Ed Greenspon, is going to be here in Calgary on January 19, next Monday, and Harvey is taking him out for dinner. We were wondering if you would like to join them.

"There are a few other people attending as well. If you're available, can you let me know? I can also let you know who the other attendees are. Thanks Mark! Bye."

Guh?

It was almost 5:00 on Wednesday. I called back immediately, and caught Corinne before she left the office. I thanked her for the invitation and accepted. She was delighted.

After I hung up, I took a moment. Why the hell was I being invited to dine with Harvey Weingarten and Ed Greenspon?

I called my mom. She thought it was pretty cool. "What if they've got the wrong Mark Hopkins?" I asked. "So what?" she replied.

See, Mark Hopkins is a pretty common name. There's a hotel in San Francisco, a sculptor in Colorado, an American railroad magnate... and Dr. Mark Hopkins, a conductor and music instructor at the University of Calgary.

The next morning, I got an e-mail from Corinne that invited me to a seminar, featuring Ed Greenspon, for the "senior leaders and emerging leaders here on campus". It also listed the dinner attendees: a couple Associate Vice-Presidents, a Provost (?), the Dean of the Haskayne School of Businesss... and no mention whatsoever of Mark Hopkins. Further convinced that they had the wrong guy, I shot an e-mail back:

"I have to admit, not being an Associate Vice-President of anything, that I feel somewhat out of my depth in that list of names. I guess I fit into the "emerging leaders" category!"

I thought this was my out. If they had the wrong guy, this would definitely clue them off. Then I got an e-mail back from Corinne, two minutes later:

"That's great news. I will be at the seminar, so don't hesitate to come and introduce yourself to me."

Guh?

Finally, on Friday, I received the full, final list of highly Google-able attendees. We've got:

Ed Greenspon (Editor-in-Chief, The Globe and Mail)

Mr. Greenspon's Wikipedia entry reveals a long history of investigative journalism (starting with unveiled corruption in the residence student government at Carleton University!). He's the co-author of Double Vision, a book about the Liberal government of Jean Chretien and Paul Martin. He's been EiC of The Globe and Mail since 2002.

Harvey Weingarten (President and Vice-Chancellor, University of Calgary)

Dr. Harvey P. Weingarten is the U of C's seventh President and Vice-Chancellor, a position he's held since 2001. He is a doctor of psychology, with a PhD from Yale.

Catherine Bagnell Styles (Associate Vice-President, External Relations, University of Calgary)

Ms. Bagnell Styles worked in marketing with Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts, Canadian Airlines and Wardair before landing the External Relations gig at U of C. She's the current President of Decidedly Jazz Danceworks.

Colleen Turner (Associate Vice-President, Communications, University of Calgary)

Ms. Turner is the editor over at U Magazine, which kind of makes her my boss.

Len Waverman (Dean, Haskayne School of Business, University of Calgary)

Dr. Waverman holds a PhD from M.I.T., was awarded the medal of Chevalier dans les Ordres de Palme Académique by the Government of France, and came to the U of C from the London School of Business. He is apparently a "world-renowned expert in international telecommunications and resources management". Neat.

Alan Harrison (Provost and Vice-President Academic)

Provost! What a great, and slightly ambiguous, title. It refers to a "senior academic administrator" at an institution of higher education. Dr. Harrison (PhD in economics from the University of Essex) is a Provost twice over, first at Carleton and now at U of C. He has two kids and enjoys jazz music.

Leslie Reid (Faculty of Science)

Dr. Reid is the U of C's first Tamaratt Teaching Professor in Geoscience, and is the star of an "Innovators" video produced by U of C External Relations. (Catherine Bagnell Styles, was this your doing?) She knows the difference between "using" and "utilizing", which has always mystified me.

Tom Flanagan (Department of Political Science)

Dr. Flanagan is senior fellow in the Fraser Institute, a "free-market think-tank", and a member of the Calgary School, which Dr. Radha Jhappan has referred to as the "department of redneckology". He's been called "The Prince of Darkness" by CBC's Ira Basen for the views expressed in his book First Nations? Second Thoughts, and "The Man Behind Stephen Harper" by The Walrus for his role as Harper's national campaign director.

Rod Love (consultant)

Mr. Love was the Executive Assistant to Mayor Ralph Klein, and remained hitched to that wagon until he became Chief of Staff to Premier Ralph Klein. He ran unsuccessfully in a Calgary-Buffalo provincial by-election in 1992 and created Rod Love Consulting Inc. in 1998. He's a recipient of the Governor General's Medal for Outstanding Community Service, and sits on the board of governors of the University of Calgary and the Canada West Foundation.

... and ...

Mark Hopkins (local arts enthusiast, columnist for several Calgary publications, and U of C young alumni)

I've heard of this guy... doesn't he have a pompous t-shirt with his name on it?

So. Should be an interesting meal.

I still have no idea why I was invited to this event, though I suspect I'm meant to represent Calgary's "leaders of tomorrow" or something. Regardless, I'm going to print me some business cards and try not to spill any wine!

Drip. Drip. Drip.

In my office, there's some sort of drip, an irregular tapping noise on the ceiling above my head. It's started to drive me absolutely nuts, to the point that I escaped the house at 8:00 this morning for the drip-free OYR office (and nearly gave Johnny a heart attack when he arrived at 8:45 to find me at my desk).

On the bright side, the dripping has pushed me to dig out my headphones and plug back into iTunes. Right now, I'm listening to the Brazilian Girls. WHO APPARENTLY HAVE A NEW ALBUM HOLY CRAP!

I'm now listening to the new Brazilian Girls album. Technology rules.

"There won't be nudity or anything inappropriate. Calgary's not ready for that."

... sez Tim Tamashiro, creator of the blessedly short-lived Calgary phenomenon, Spurlesque, "the world's only cowgirl burlesque show", that debuted (and seems to have concluded) during the 2006 Calgary Stampede.

I interviewed Tamashiro back in '06, a few months before Spurlesque hit the Quincy's stage, in an article for Avenue called "Sexy Subversion". It was a decent interview, he was a nice guy, but it seemed to me that he didn't quite get burlesque.

"Most people associate burlesque with pasties and fat girls," he said. "In my show, they're all completely top-of-the-ranks beautiful. They're extremely sexy, and really outgoing and gregarious, but they're also very good dancers at the same time, right?"

Good dancers, that's... that's good.

"I don't know about you," he continued, "but I started sniffing around the new burlesque troupes that are happening around, and I'll be perfectly honest with you, it just doesn't do it for me. It seems like there's a bit of kitschiness about it. They're dressed in period costumes, a lot of tattooed girls. It really is a fringe type of thing."

That's where we agree. Burlesque is a fringe type of thing. It's witty, satirical and counter-cultural... none of which characteristics have any place around Quincy's during the Calgary Stampede.

"I've trademarked the name Spurlesque, by the way, which I'm very excited about."

...

Master Sarah Moanies, the former MC of Kabuki Guns Burlesque, was always on message. No matter where she was interviewed, there was always a similar quote: "Burlesque comes from a day when sex and sexuality was still a mystery. A long black skirt with a tall slit up the leg is far more sexy than a mini-skirt."

(In my Avenue piece: "Burlesque hearkens back to a time when sexuality still had a little mystery and plastic did not make perfect. ... A long skirt with a slit up the leg is far sexier than a miniskirt.")

It's a good soundbyte, and that's why it kept getting printed. But more importantly, Moanies provided Calgary with a spokesperson for burlesque that understood its history, its image, and the need for a consistent message.

Contrary to Tamashiro's "pasties and fat girls", I'd argue that most people associate burlesque with the Pussycat Dolls who, unless I've been looking at the wrong photoshoots, don't subscribe to Moanies' long skirt philosophy. As a public face for burlesque in Calgary, Moanies reminded us that burlesque (done right) has more in common with old-style vaudeville than with the French Maid.

Alas, Master Moanies has left Calgary for warmer shores. We miss you!

The Kabuki Guns are still active. Admittedly, I haven't seen many of their recent shows... but I worry when I see photos of their latest fundraiser, a bikini carwash.

On Saturday, I headed over to the Palomino to see the Garter Girls (formerly the Calgary Burlesque Collective). I first encountered this group when they very generously performed at Swallow-a-Bicycle's Lust After Sunset party/fundraiser at Juilliard. They pretty much rocked, and helped to make the party a rousing success. When I heard they were performing alongside some rockabilly bands, I figured it would be a Saturday evening well-spent.

Don't get me wrong, I had a good time. But I have to admit, I was disappointed with the show.

Nearly every set started, and ended, the same way. The MC, dressed as Mrs. Claus, gave a sassy introduction. The dancer entered, stage right, in an elaborate costume. A Christmas tune was pumped through the speakers, and the elaborate costume was stripped down to panties and tasseled pasties. A quick tassel-twirl, and that's a wrap! Even Axis D'Evil, who gave a rowdy and respectable performance as a filthy, hard-rockin' Santa Claus, twirled those tassels for her grand finale.

You can imagine my delight, then, when Sugar Mae B. did something different.

When she entered stage right, she was already nearly bare, her panties and pasties concealed only by a pair of white-feathered shields that were part angel wings, part snow domes. Her dance was slow and measured, and whenever one of the wings made a broad stroke overhead, the other was there to conceal her, giving us only the briefest hints of skin. It was subtle. Mischievous. Seductive.

At the end, with a smirk, the wings finally parted.
But wasn't about the big finish. We already knew she was naked. It was about the experience.

(At least, it was for me. The douchebag next to me, on the other hand, gruffly called out: "Drop the wings, hon, we can't see anything.")

Now, I'm in no way impartial - Ms. Sugar Mae is a friend of mine. And, granted, her set didn't have much in the way of satire, or commentary, or transgression. But I was thrilled and refreshed to see the formula broken, and to be engaged by her sensuality instead of her sexuality.

Saturday night was a landmark for the Garter Girls; it was the final show for their founder, Betty Galore, before her indefinite hiatus from burlesque. It's hard to say what this will mean for the group. I, for one, hope that their next evolution shows less strip, and more tease.

Calgary's burlesque "community", as it were, is pretty much dominated by the KGB and the Garter Girls, but as I was writing this, I took a casual stroll through Google and discovered Burlesquercise, a burlesque-themed fitness dance class by Diva Di.

At first, I was pretty sure this was another Spurlesque-esque cash-in. The class descriptions are ripe with high heels and Pussycat Dolls, and one of the advanced classes is titled "Chair Tease". But Di's resume looks pretty solid, and the site is also peppered with words like "confidence", "transformation", "empowerment", and welcomes "Women of all ages, levels, shapes and sizes." Who knows?

I guess Diva Di will be starting up her own troupe, The Little Vegas Dance Company, in '09. I look forward to seeing if they'll bring forward anything new.

The world is just begging for parody. Proposition 8. The economic recession. The pro-roguing of Parliament - hell, Canadian politicians are practically writing their own sketches. These things are gifts for anyone working in burlesque.

There's already plenty of nudity going around. It's time to see something inappropriate.

Believe me, Calgary is ready.

Touch me, baby, bite my tongue

I got my first job when I was fourteen, working for the Kinsmen Club of Calgary at the Calgary Stampede. I worked in a team of four, two guys, two girls. Our job was simple: at pre-arranged times throughout the day, we would carry food and water to the various Kinsmen booths spread throughout the Stampede grounds. The booth-dwellers welcomed us gratefully, especially on the hot days. We would then drag our empty jugs back to the Kinsmen office and sit around, waiting for the next run.

The girls were older, fifteen I think. The other guy was older still, sixteen or seventeen. At fourteen, I was awkward, introverted and lacking that key piece of common sense that helps teenagers make friends.

I brought a book with me, probably something by Anne McCaffrey or David Eddings. And while I can't remember exactly, I'm sure I found some chair in the corner and read my book while the others played poker, or blackjack, or backgammon. I didn't really understand those games, nor did I understand that the games weren't the point.

Being stuck in a room with them for eight hours a day, it was inevitable that I would develop a crush on the girls. But, of course, I had no idea how to approach them, so I sat in my corner, ate my packed lunch, and inserted hasty comments into whatever conversation they were having. My awkwardness must have shone like a beacon, because eventually, when they got bored of card games or flirting, they turned to me.

They asked me if I'd ever kissed a girl, which I hadn't.

"Yeah, of course," I said, blushing.

"With tongue?" one of the girls asked.

I gave her what I hoped was a withering glare, seeped in disdain. With tongue? Is there a kiss without tongue? Give me a break.

I guess the glare worked, because the questioning stopped. They accepted that, okay, the nerd had a little more play than they'd expected. I went back to my book in quiet humiliation, my face burning.

A song came on the radio - "Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" by Pras, featuring Mya and ODB. One of the girls squealed, turned to the guy.

"Will you sing along with me?" she asked.

He shook his head, no way, turned back to his cards. Sulking, she looked around the room and caught my eye.

"Do you know this song?" she asked. I didn't.

"Yeah, of course," I replied.

"Will you sing along with me?" she asked. "I never have a guy to sing the guy parts with me."

"Uh," I said. "Nah. No, sorry."

"Come on! Why not?"

"I don't sing," I said firmly, and that was that. The guy looked up, nodded at me. Solidarity. Dudes don't sing. The girl shrugged, sighed, went back to watch the cards. And on our crackly radio, the song played.

Run away with me, to another place.
We can rely on each other, uh-huh.
From one corner to another, uh-huh.

Hopkins Happenings - December 2008

Hi everyone,

It's newsletter time again! December is a comparably slow month for me, which is kind of great, since January will be freakin' nuts. Here's what I've got coming up:

• Body Language
• Raggedy Ann & Andy
• Christmas Ham(let)
• Swimming in Shallow Water
• Salon de la conversation
  
• Roommate Search 2009

Body Language

December 4-6, 8:00 pm
Motel, EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
$12

Body Language, part of Downstage's Motel Series, features two performances: Do Me, by Jennifer Roberts, and Pouring the Liquid Unseen, by Marie-Ève Bonneau. We've just finished the first week of the run, and there are three performances remaining!

Do Me explores the dance of romance, as men and women clash, crash and unite in a series of vignettes. Pouring the Liquid Unseen invites the audience to a private transformative experience, which combines movement, dance and music for an intimate exploration of healing, improvisation and the fluidity of the human experience.

Plus, there are black lights and naughty words! Don't miss it!

Raggedy Ann & Andy

December 10-12 at 7:30 pm, December 13-14 at 2:30 pm
Vertigo Studio Theatre (base of the Calgary Tower)
$8-$12

In a magical playroom, Babette the French doll is kidnapped by Leonard-the-Looney-Hearted! Raggedy Ann and Andy climb out the window and embark on a daring rescue mission through the deep, deep woods, where they confront swamp monsters, witches and more. Directed by the superbly talented Kristin Eveleigh and featuring a cast of up-and-coming teenage actors, this holiday production is suitable for ages 3+.

Visit Calgary Young People's Theatre for more information.


Christmas Ham(let)

December 1, 8:00 pm

Ramsay Community Hall (1136 8th St SE)
$15

Swallow-a-Bicycle is doing a holiday show! Who would have thought? You are cordially invited to join Claudius and Gertrude for their wedding reception, which swiftly transforms into a 90-minute condensed version of Shakespeare's Hamlet.

Directed by Jonathan Seinen, the show features an all-star cast of Alex Arsenault, Kate Bateman, Ellen Close, Mat Glessing, Len Harvey, Wil Knoll, Simone Saunders and Jordan Schartner! (Wow!) Hamlet is played by Stephen Kent, who understudied for the role this summer at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival.

Should be pretty freakin' cool. Besides, what else are you doing on December 19-20? Shopping? Pssh.

Swimming in Shallow Water

markchopkins.blogspot.com

I've started a blog! In theory, I update it daily, though occasionally I miss a day (or six). I need motivation to keep this sucker going, so if you've got some time to kill, check it out!

Salon de la Conversation

Every Monday, around 8:00 pm
Kensington Pub
207 10A St NW

For a couple of years, a group of French-speakers have been meeting at the Kensington Pub every Monday night to... well, drink beer and speak French. It's a great, friendly environment to brush up on your language skills and meet some cool people. Si vous parlez français, j'espère de vous voir au Kensington Pub lundi soir!

Roommate Search 2009

My fabulous roommate, Danielle, is moving out. Boo! So I need a new tenant. Yay!

I have a kickass condo in a great location (off Memorial Drive, just north of Prince's Island Park), so if you know anyone looking for a place to live, please point them in my direction. I'm looking for someone as of January 1, but Danielle will be out in mid-December, so the move-in date is pretty flexible.

Come live with me!

- - -

A nice, laid-back December! Oh, and of course, there are a couple of We Should Know Each Other parties this month (#20 and #21, I think), and if you'd like to attend, just drop me a line.

I don't have New Year's Eve plans yet. Suggestions?

Next month is the High Performance Rodeo, and my life explodes until February. If you want to hang out, let's do it in December!

Farewell, 2008. You've been a good year...

Mark Hopkins