Bag

I've embarked on a new writing project with my dear friend Colin (more on that later), and it got me rooting through some of my old stories. I found this tidbit skulking on my hard drive, and there's something about it that still charms me.

Enjoy.

Bag

Katie was sitting really still, just like she was supposed to, but the car kept bumping and that made her move. She bounced almost right out of her seat when it bumped big, but her seatbelt was on so that helped. Except for the bouncing, she was almost all still, except she kept turning her head. The bag was sitting on top of the cup holes between the seats and it was staring at her.

“What’s in the bag, Mommy?”

Mom looked over really quick. She didn’t have much time to look over because she was driving and that took concentration.

“Nothing.”

She looked back out the front window, and Katie looked out too, but there was nothing fun, just cars and trees. The car rolled over a bump. The bag rattled.

“But why would there be a bag if there’s nothing?”

Bags don’t have nothing. Bags come with stuff. Mom looked away from the road and looked back fast and wiggled the steering wheel.

“It doesn’t have nothing, just nothing important.”

Katie pulled at her bottom lip. The car bumped and the bag rattled and it was still looking at her.

“What’s not important?”

“Don’t worry about it, Katie.”

Rattle rattle.

There were eyes on the side of the bag, big open circle eyes, looking right at Katie. She pulled at her bottom lip and waited. When Mom turned her head to turn the car, Katie reached really sneaky into the bag and her fingers grabbed a plastic and pulled it up far enough to see.

“Don’t touch that!”

She pulled back her hand and started to cry. It was just medicine, vitamins like Katie chewed in the morning with her cereal, nothing important.

“Katie, honey, just sit still, alright?”

Katie was sitting really still.

Hopkins Happenings - May 2009

Hey everyone -

Every month, I start off this newsletter by talking about how busy I am. It's time for a change, because... this time I'm not going to talk about it.

Here's what I've got cooking:

• A Midsummer Night's Dream
• Matadora
  
• ALS Fundraising / Markapalooza 2
• POST
  

A Midsummer Night's Dream

May 7-29, 2009
Tuesday to Saturday @ 8:00 pm
May 16 and 24 @ 2:30 pm
Arrata Opera Centre
1315 7th St SW

Adults $25, Students/Seniors $20
www.shakespearecompany.com

I'm delighted to once again be working with the Shakespeare Company, whose elegant presentations of the Bard's work are consistently excellent.

This famous comedy begins as Duke Theseus prepares to wed Hippolyta, the Queen of Amazons. On the eve of the royal nuptials, forbidden lovers Hermia and Lysander escape into the enchanted wood to elope under the full moon, but the wood's mischievous fairy-folk have other plans in store for the two lovestruck couples.

This production utterly transforms the Arrata Opera Centre into a twilight wonderland, where the forces of nature come to life. Welcome the first days of summer with one of Shakespeare's most enchanting creations!

Matadora

May 27-June 6, 2009
8:00 pm nightly (no show on Sunday, May 31)
2:00 pm matinee on Saturday, June 6
Joyce Doolittle Theatre
Pumphouse Theatres (2140 Pumphouse Ave SW)

Adults $16, Students/Seniors/Equity $12
403.263.0079 - tickets.pumphousetheatre.ca

Trepan Theatre is back! I worked with them on last year's catacomb comedy La Mexicaine de Perforation. Now, they turn their slapstick sights on a historical figure from 1920s Spain - La Reverte.

Juanita Cruz dreams of becoming a bullfighter, but no one will train her. No one except La Reverte, a transvestite master of the bullring who has fallen into security. Witness the triumphant return of the Gender-Bending Bullfighter in Trepan Theatre's trademark style of tour-de-force physical hilarity. Starring Aaron Coates, Cheryl Hutton and Alice Nelson.

Should be a rollickin' good time. Hope to see you on opening night!

ALS Fundraising / Markapalooza 2

Mark Hopkins' fundraising site

Markapalooza 2
June 6, 7:00 pm-2:00 am
Wild Ginger (115 - 414 3rd St SW)

Wow. You are a tremendously generous and supportive bunch of people.

I started my 2009 fundraising efforts for the ALS Society of Alberta less than two weeks ago, and with your help, I've already raised over $4,000. That's a huge start toward my $10,000 goal, and I'm blown away by the response. I will still be fundraising until Betty's Run for ALS on June 14, so it's not too late to check out my fundraising site. Your support is enormously appreciated!

(Also, watch for me in the Calgary Herald on Monday, and on ShawTV later this week. The media has picked up on my fundraising efforts! Neat!)

Oh yeah, and I'm throwing a massive birthday party / fundraiser on June 6th.

Markapalooza 2 will be "off" the "hook". I'll be starting my full-blown publicity later this week, and you'll also be able to pre-purchase tickets, but here's a preview: The Human Statues. The Garter Girls Burly-Q Revue. Dragon Fli Empire. Gina Dragpiper. Not to mention bodypainting, merchandise (that's right - more t-shirts), a silent auction and more surprises.

So. Um. Save the date?

POST

June 1, 8:00 pm
Auburn Saloon (163 - 115 9th Ave SE)
Pay-What-You-Can

Okay, yes, this event isn't until June 1st... but what are the chances that I'll get my June newsletter sent out on time? I mean, c'mon.

The crazy kids at Strangebird Theatre have concocted a Calgary-Toronto collaboration for a group of adventurous emerging artists - myself included! Our task is to create a show - theatre, music, dance, whatever - and then send the show to our sister city counterparts, who will adapt and perform it. The Calgary and Toronto performances (and subsequent parties) will happen simultaneously.

So, to re-cap: I write something, send it to Toronto, they adapt it in some crazy way, then it's performed out East. Meanwhile, I perform some poor sucker's piece here in Calgary. Wild!

---

I'll be spending my spare time this month checking out an abundance of brilliant events, including the Calgary International Children's Festival, Studies in Motion: The Hauntings of Eadward Muybridge, Art on Art, Essay and the Russian Play, Carmen & Bolero, Imaginary Ordinary, Jump/Cut, Letters from the WhimsyState, the Flemish Eye Ball, and Evil Dead: The Musical.

Phew.

Have a great May!

Mark Hopkins

Hopkins Happenings - April 2009

Hey everyone -

It's April! Man, 2009 is just flying past. I've got another busy month, including:

• Salon de la Conversation - Re-Launch!
• Honesty
• Shhhh!
• ALS Fundraising - 2009
  

Salon de la Conversation - Re-Launch!

Every Monday night, 8:00 pm
Kensington Pub
207 10A St NW

Waaaaay back in May 2005, a bunch of us French Immersion veterans got together and said, "Mon français n'est pas aussi good que it used to be." We decided to get together, every Monday night, for drinks and friendly French-language conversation!

For a couple of years, the Kensington Pub was a hotspot for French conversation and our language skills increased exponentially. Over the past several months, malheureusement, Le Salon has gradually faded away. It's time to bring it back!

Si vous parlez français (even if you only speak a little bit!), venez nous rejoindre au Kensington Pub chaque lundi soir! Beer, French conversation and good company: a formula for a fabulous Monday night!

Honesty

April 16-25
Thursday to Saturday @ 8:00 pm
EPCOR CENTRE's Motel
225 8th Ave SE (2nd Floor, across from the Big Secret Theatre)

Tickets $12 at the door, call 403.294.7459 to reserve
www.downstage.ca

The final show in the 2008-09 Motel Series promises to be a gem - it's a new comedy by Calgary playwright extraordinaire, Neil Fleming, author of John Doe/Jack Rabbit, Security and Gnomes!

In the year 2367, lying is impossible. Humans use their brains to full capacity and communicate telepathically. But at the Ministry of Obsolete Technologies, two officers discover a forbidden secret: a pill that can mask brainwaves. Celebrate Canada's 500th birthday with a taboo tale of seduction, deception and chocolate addiction in a play that creates the world of the future, using wit as its weapon of choice. Starring Col Cseke, Aaron Edelstein, Nicola Elson and Jessica Nottell.

Shhhh!

April 28-May 2 @ 8:00 pm
Lantern Community Church
1401 10 Ave SE

$15 at the door, call 403.698.3088 to reserve
www.swallowabicycle.com

You've probably heard me rambling about "Swallow-a-Bicycle", that little theatre company that keeps me insanely busy. Now's your chance to meet the creative team!

Swallow-a-Bicycle consists of myself, Léda Davies and Charles Netto. For this performance, we challenged ourselves to each create a stand-alone half-hour performance using the theme Shhhh! as our starting point. The resulting pieces include a seductive femme fatale, thoughts from the monster under the bed, and an eccentric historian with a story to tell.

As the show develops, we'll post more details on our website (and blog!). In the meantime, you can book your tickets online to see original work on the cutting edge of Calgary's creation scene! (Or whatever.)


ALS Fundraising - 2009

Mark Hopkins' Fundraising Site

My great-uncle, Fred, died of ALS in the 1970s. My uncle, Bob, died of ALS in 2001. My father, Doug, was diagnosed with ALS in July 2006 and passed away on June 3, 2007. I have an approximately 50% chance of someday being diagnosed with the disease.

Every year, I participate in Betty's Run for ALS, a fundraiser for the ALS Society of Alberta, an organisation that helped my family through my father's illness and that supports ALS research. This year, the run takes place on June 14, and I will once again run 5 miles in an effort to raise money toward care, research and an eventual cure.

Last year, my fundraising campaign raised over $12,000. I'm hoping to exceed that amount this year, and your support would be greatly appreciated! Donations are accepted by credit card through the website (click "Donate Now!" at the top of the page), or you can donate by cash or cheque by contacting me at 403.710.0093 or mark.c.hopkins@gmail.com. Donations for $20 or more will be issued a charitable tax receipt.

And, yes, I will be throwing another epic birthday party / fundraiser! You can expect more bands, more bodypainting, more prizes, and more general awesomeness. Markapalooza 2 will be on June 6 - save the date, and watch for more details soon!

---

Amidst all this insanity, I'll be attending a slew of other events, like Taking Flight, Re:Verb, The Calgary Underground Film Festival and The Collection, just to name a few. Hope to see you there!

And, of course, the 'We Should Know Each Other' parties are still going strong. If you'd like to meet a bunch of interesting folks on a Sunday night, drop me a line for more details!

Thanks for bearing with my extended ramblings; that's it until May! Have a great month.

Zero Hour

"Hi, I'm looking for Mr. Mark Hopkins?"

"That's me."

"Hello, Mr. Hopkins. First, I want to thank you for being a Rogers Wireless customer."

"No problem."

"As a Rogers Wireless customer, I wanted to let you know about the Rocket Stick, a Rogers device that allows you to access the internet..."

"I'm sorry, did you just say Rocket Stick?"

"Yes, I did."

"Who came up with that name?"

"I'm not sure. That's hilarious, you're the second person to ask me that today."

"Rocket Stick. That's ridiculous."

"You don't like the name?"

"No, it's fine, it's just... Rocket Stick? Seriously? Will it blast me onto the internet?"

"Well, yes, exactly! I... don't remember if I said this already, because you started asking me about the name, but it will give you up to 500 MB of high-speed wireless internet. I can send you the Rocket Stick for free, all you'll need to pay is the monthly fee."

"You know what, I've lead a pretty fulfilling life up 'til now, so I think I'm okay without a Rocket Stick."

"Are you sure? The Rocket Stick will help you sleep better at night!"

"Now that you mention it, my sleep has been quite troubled lately."

"You see? That's exactly what I was thinking, I looked at your name and thought, 'I'm going to call Mr. Hopkins and help him with his sleeping problems.' Aren't you happy that I called?"

"Delighted, really. But you know what, I think I'm going to have to pass on the Rocket Stick."

"Well thanks for taking my call, Mark, and I hope you find something to help with your sleep."

Factor E

Since I'm already quoting, I figured I would toss this one into the mix, from a movie I haven't seen:

Well, I have this friend Mark. Well, he buys all these clothes from Bloomingdale's. But because he's from London, everybody on the Cape keeps talking about his "fabulous English look," which really is so good.

He was at a party up there last weekend and Norman Mailer walked up and punched him in the stomach. When Mark asked him why, he just said it was for wearing a pink coat.

I know I should have been happy for Mark that Norman Mailer punched him, but all I could think was, 'Will Norman Mailer ever punch me?'

I don't even have a pink coat.

Reverie

I recently re-discovered the fabulous, partially-defunct Calgary band, Reverie Sound Revue, and I've been reveling in the awesomeness of their 6-song album for about a week.

One line, from the song "Rip the Universe", has been haunting me with its piercing accuracy.

"Everyone is kinda lazy / When it's time to kiss a lady"

Amen to that. Seriously.

Other Things that Pissed Me Off Today:

Minister won't confirm belief in evolution.

(Followed up with 'Minister clarifies stand on evolution', which somehow failed to quell my concerns.)

Pope says condoms not answer to fighting AIDS. "On the contrary, it increases the problem."

"Unmasking Choice" on the side of a truck, driving by as I enjoy a hot chocolate in Kensington.

I mean, fuckin' hell. Can't there be a moratorium on idiocy? Just until I die. Eighty years, tops.