Swimming in Shallow Water

Hopkins Happenings - July 2010

2010-07-04T14:45:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone,

Phew - June was crazy! Between the Stage One workshop at Lunchbox Theatre, Across the Tracks in Vulcan, the ALS fundraiser at Broken City and my 27th birthday, I've definitely needed some recovery time. But now I'm back in the game, so if I haven't seen you in a while, give me a call in July - I've got some spare time to hang!

Speaking of ALS, thank you once again for making my annual fundraising events a huge success. With your help, we raised over $4,000 for Betty's Run for ALS, making me this year's third-highest individual fundraiser. I'm now planning Markapalooza 3 for late 2010, so keep your eyes peeled for that!

In the meantime, there's plenty to see and do in July, including:

Sled Island Music & Arts Festival
We Should Know Each Other #57
Boot Scootin' Boogie Ball
We Should Know Each Other #58
Ghost Town Pizza Party

- - -

Sled Island Music & Arts Festival

So, um... I'm a few days late releasing this newsletter, and the fabulousness of Sled Island (including the event co-hosted by Swallow-a-Bicycle Theatre) is pretty much over. Oops!

However, there's a wrap-up party and pig roast happening right now at the Republik! What better way to spend your Sunday afternoon?

We Should Know Each Other #57

Sunday, July 4, 2010
7:00-11:00 pm
714 5A St NW (buzzer: M. Hopkins)
www.swallowabicycle.com

Since February 2008, I've been hosting 'We Should Know Each Other' parties in my living room, where you can have a drink, relax and meet a host of fascinating people!

We've had artists, engineers, police officers, accountants, journalists, politicians and more, and there's always a great mix of personalities and stimulating conversation. This is a great chance to step outside of your comfort zone and expand your social circle. I hope you can join us!

Boot Scootin' Boogie Ball

Thursday, July 15, 2010
'Hoe down' begins at 5:00 pm
$40 in advance, $50 at the door
Stockyards Saloon, 24 - 7400 MacLeod Tr South
www.stockyardssaloon.com

Yes, I am indeed involved in an event called the "Boot Scootin' Boogie Ball". A career in theatre takes you to strange places...

This Stampede party takes over the Stockyards Saloon, a bar so steeped in Western authenticity that it has a mechanical bull right next to the stage. Proceeds from the event will benefit both One Yellow Rabbit and the High Performance Rodeo, and the evening will feature two-steppers, swing dancers and a shoot 'em up Wild West showdown.

We Should Know Each Other #58

Sunday, July 18, 2010
7:00-11:00 pm
714 5A St NW (buzzer: M. Hopkins)
www.swallowabicycle.com

Um, this event is pretty much identical to 'We Should Know Each Other' #57, described above, so now I'm in an awkward position... how to fill this space?

Wellllll, if you want to know a bit more about the 'We Should Know Each Other' parties, they've been featured in Swerve, FFWD, U Magazine, The Calgary Herald and even on CBC's Definitely Not the Opera. Pretty cool, huh?

Ghost Town Pizza Party

Saturday, July 31, 2010
5:00-9:00 pm
Sam's Saloon
Rowley, Alberta
AMA website

Rowley, Alberta is a tiny ghost town located about a half-hour north of Drumheller. What distinguishes it from most ghost towns is that, on the last Saturday of every month, they open up the old saloon for a pizza night!

My sister and I went for the pizza night in June, and it was a tremendously charming experience. Hundreds of people from Drumheller and the surrounding area gather at Sam's for pizza and cheap beer, in the middle of an empty town that feels like Heritage Park come to life. This month, I plan to take advantage of the free camping and stay overnight. Let me know if you'd like to join me, or go ahead and plan a trip of your own!

Oh, and if you're in Sam's Saloon for the first time, be sure to ask the bartender about the ferret. Trust me.

- - -

Last month, I slacked off and didn't include a rundown of other rockin' Calgary events. This month, I won't be so lazy! You may want to check out:

Pith Biennale of Conschmemporary Art 2010 - until July 10
The Secret in their Eyes - until July 8
Natural Disaster Pets and Other Stories - until July 9
Give Up the Ghost - until July 23
Clothesline - until July 29
Pamela Norrish, artist-in-residence - until July 30
I am JUST not good at following directions - until July 31
TEXT-ING - until August 1
The Painter as Printmaker - until August 2
Riopelle: The Glory of Abstraction - until August 2
Stella Mere - until August 2
The Art of the Calgary Stampede - until August 6
WagonStage: ShooShoo and Vlum - until August 13
Shakespeare in the Park - until August 21
Stop Resisting - until August 29
L.S. Benschop Institute in Residence - until August 31
Mixed Signals: Artists Consider Masculinity in Sport - until September 4
Full Spectrum - until September 17
Taking the Reins: Horses, Power and Prestige - until September 17
Lil' Kim - July 4
Bike Root Town Hall Meeting - July 5
The Museum of Bow - July 6-26
High Noon Music: Chris Gheran - July 7
Ideas for a Better City: A Reception with Naheed Nenshi - July 7
Toboggan Peninsula - July 7-9
First Flip 2010 - July 8
Historical Walking Tour of Downtown Calgary - July 8
Mt. Royal, Freak Heat Waves & DJ Sarah Ford - July 8
Jesse Winchester w/ NEeMA - July 8
Mr. C - July 8
Deadmau5 - July 8
Transcending Here - July 9 to August 5
House Show! w/ Azeda Booth, Memory Screen & more - July 9
Bucket of Blood w/ DJ Adam Kamis, DJ Ben Nymphet, Forbidden Dimension, The Brenda Vaqueroes & The Exploding Pigs - July 9
Tequila Mockingbird Orchestra w/ The Bownesians - July 9
Birdemic: Shock and Terror - July 9-10
Calgary Stampede - July 9-18
Bake Sale in support of G20 arrestees - July 10
TRONFest - July 10
Marty's Annual Stampede Food Bank Party - July 10
The Ex-Boyfriends w/ Seven Story Redhead & Acid Jac - July 10
JFK of MSTRKRFT - July 10
Calgary Turkish Festival - July 10-11
Pride Calgary Kick-Ass Summer BBQ - July 11
Mother Mother - July 11
Michael Bernard Fitzgerald - July 11
High on Fire w/ Russian Circle & Skeletonwitch - July 11
Dragonette w/ Fordinho & A-Mac - July 12
Laughter Makes Us Human - July 13
Animation Jampede - July 13-17
Montreal SKA Tour 2010 - July 13
Historical Walking Tour of Downtown Calgary - July 15
Rattail & DJ Sarah Ford - July 15
Klaas - July 15
PechaKucha Night Calgary #5: The West - July 16
Desert Islands exhibition opening - July 16
The Whitsundays, Royal Canoe & Forest City Lovers - July 16
David Swann's Annual Stampede Breakfast - July 17
Sunalta Stampede Breakfast - July 17
Music in the Park: Los Morenos, Joe-Defendants & Sherry-Lee Wisor Trio - July 17
Rustic Grass Poetry - July 17
5th Annual Rock and Roll Rodeo - July 17
King Dylan, Transit, Smixx, Chedda Cheese & Exzam - July 17
2nd annual Bownesians Picnic - July 18
Beltline Walking Tour - July 18
Music@Noon@Cantos - July 20
Green Drinks Calgary - July 20
High Noon Music: Ruth Purves Smith & The 581 - July 21
"Make Your Thing" with Jesse Thorn - July 21
Hopewell Summer Music Series - July 21
Calgary Folk Music Festival - July 22-25
Historical Walking Tour of Downtown Calgary - July 22
Cultural Feedback - July 22
Wolf Parade - July 22
Silver Dapple, Mount Analogue, Fist City, Jesuslesfilles & DJ Sarah Ford - July 22
Ride Through Time - July 24
Neil Young - July 24
Fiestaval - July 24-25
Sun and Salsa Festival - July 25
Blue Mondays All-Ages Blues Jam - July 26
Music@Noon@Cantos - July 27
High Noon Music: latenite hotels - July 28
Innovation Exchange - July 28
Said the Whale w/ We Are The City & Aidan Knight - July 28
Historical Walking Tour of Downtown Calgary - July 29
Talk Show Thursday! - July 29
Juliette Lewis - July 29
Eimog, Ghosts of the Land, This City Defects & Man Your Horse - July 30
Calgary Fringe Festival - July 30 to August 7

That oughta keep you busy, hey? Whether you're Stampeding or not, there are loads of wicked events in July. Hope to see you out and about!

Mark Hopkins
Co-Artistic Director
Swallow-a-Bicycle Theatre
www.swallowabicycle.com
403.710.0093

2010-04-07T01:59:00.000-07:00

Hello friends -

Welcome to April! It's so close to patio weather, I can taste it. The only tricky part will be making time for patios with everything that's happening this month!

Here's what I've got on the menu for April:

Creativity as an Economic Force
The Building Project
We Should Know Each Other #51
Robot Wedding
Calgary Comic & Entertainment Expo
We Should Know Each Other #52: The Big Listen
Building Bridges Playwriting Competition

Creativity as an Economic Force

Thursday, April 8, 2010 - 5:00 pm
The Local Library, Central United Church
131 7th Ave SW
www.thrivecalgary.org

Thrive Calgary is a fantastic organization that focuses on Community Economic Development in our city. In this event, they ask the questions: How does creativity enhance the local economy? What challenges do artists experience as they contribute to making our city great?

The conversation will be led by Terry Rock (Calgary Arts Development), Joe Ceci (Alderman, Ward 9) and Alexi Davis (Studio C / Prospect). This discussion will be followed by some informal mingling, where you can check out local community-oriented arts organizations like ArtRecruits, This is My City, the Local Library, Calgary Dollars, CAKE Youth Arts and more. This is a great chance to explore the ways in which art intersects with social change!

The Building Project

Opening: Friday, April 9, 2010 - 6:00 pm
Exhibition: March 25-April 29, 2010
Gallery 101, 1109 Olympic Way SE
(beside 101 Wines by David Walker)
Facebook event

I met photographer Heather Saitz about a year ago and, throughout that time, she's been hard at work on The Building Project, a photography book that documents the historic Moxam and Congress apartment buildings and their current inhabitants. The project is now finished, and you can see the results at Gallery 101! (or in Swerve magazine, or on Global TV, or...)

Signed hardcover first editions will be on sale at the opening night party. The book is gorgeous, and it's an important project documenting the evolving history of Calgary.

We Should Know Each Other #51

Sunday, April 11, 2010 - 7:00 pm
714 5A St NW (buzzer: Mark Hopkins)

Phew - 'We Should Know Each Other' #50 was an epic affair! But now that the LEGO has been cleared away and the cupcakes have been eaten, it's time to get back to the traditional WSKEO parties in my modest Sunnyside apartment.

This is a super casual evening, where you will get the chance to meet some of the colourful Calgarians that surround you! Bring some food, bring a friend and, most importantly, bring a smile and an open mind. Hope you can make it!

Robot Wedding

Friday, April 16, 2010 - doors at 9:00 pm
Auburn Saloon, #163 115 9th Ave SE
(base of the Calgary Tower)
$12 in advance, $15 at the door
www.swallowabicycle.com

It's been a while since we last rocked Calgary nightlife with a Swallow-a-Bicycle party. We're due for another.

Help us celebrate the recent nuptials of Toaster-Bot and H-02 B1, may their circuits remain forever entwined. Featuring Dragon Fli Empire, Piper Davis, inFUNKstigation and DJ Goodword, along with a robotic wedding cake, a speech by the Best "Man" and more, this will be a night you don't want to miss.

Join us for this rockin' celebration of cybernetic love... because robots need love, too.

Calgary Comic & Entertainment Expo

April 24-25, 2010
BMO Round Up Centre, Hall D & E
Stampede Park, 20 Roundup Way SE
www.calgaryexpo.com

Leonard Nimoy! Twilight! Malcolm McDowell! Swallow-a-Bicycle...?

That's right, we're going to have a booth at the Comic Expo to help promote i-ROBOT Theatre. This will be my first comic-con, so I'm a bit nervous. What if my nerd chic makes me irresistible to all the con-goers? I might be swarmed as soon as I walk in the door!

If you're heading to the expo, come visit our table to pick up a copy of i-ROBOT Poetry and advance tickets to i-ROBOT Theatre!

We Should Know Each Other #52: The Big Listen

Sunday, April 25, 2010 - 7:00 pm
714 5A St NW (buzzer: Mark Hopkins)
www.albertaparty.ca

In its 52nd edition, 'We Should Know Each Other' dives into the world of politics! The Alberta Party is the newest provincial political party and, to help develop its platform, they are reaching out to hear what Albertans have to say.

The Big Listen will take place in kitchens and living rooms across the province, where the host (that's me!) will facilitate a conversation about the pressures and priorities facing the attendees. If you want to add your voice to the dialogue, join us for a special "Big Listen" edition of WSKEO!

Building Bridges Playwriting Competition

Submission deadline: April 30, 2010
www.cypt.ca

Have you ever wanted to write a play for young actors, and add to the library of Theatre for Young Audiences in Alberta? This, my friend, is your chance!

The Building Bridges program invites playwrights to write an original one-act play for young actors & audiences. The first prize is $500 cash, a 2.5 day workshop with actors and a dramaturge, and a professional production in February 2011. A pretty sweet deal, if you ask me. Writers, start yer word processors - the deadline is coming up fast!

- - -

In case my happenings aren't enough to sate your April appetite, check out these other fabulous events:

My First Time: until April 10
Billy Twinkle: Requiem for a Golden Boy: until April 11
Betrayal: until April 11
Open Tuning (WaveUp): until April 15
Make Day: April 3
Pith's Easter Bake Sale: April 3
Calgary International Spoken Word Festival: April 4-30
Improvisation Francophone: April 5
Ronnie Burkett Live at Glenbow!: April 6
Taking Flight: April 6-17
Stirring Culture 3: Dori Tunstall: April 7
Soundtrack for a Revolution: April 7
Dance@Noon: April 8-9
Dance@Night: April 8-9
ELEGY: April 8-10
In the Wake: April 8-17
Garter Girls Burly-Q Revue: April 8, 17, 22
$2 Parade (Lazyman Records): April 8
Waffle Show: April 9
Haggard Beat, Type Monkey Type & Platinum Alibi: April 9
The Tooth Fairy: April 9-16
Improv Shuffle #3: April 10
Good Lovelies: April 10
MaVA (Media and Visual Arts Housing Association) AGM: April 13
Ghostkeeper CD Release: April 15
Triangular Theories of Love: April 15-16
Calgary Burlesque Festival: April 16-17
Ecopalooza: April 17
Duck Memorial Gallery: April 17
Revolution: An Underground Gala: April 17
Key to the City w/ The Shagbots & Seven Story Redhead: April 17
We Are Wolves: April 17
CAKE: April 21
The Dudes: April 23
Calgary ArTours: April 23-May 20
DSW Dance Lab: April 23-May 22
Talonbooks' Cross-Canada Poetry Tour: April 27
Communion: April 27-May 15
Yann Martel: April 28
Dektet 2010 Book Launch: April 29
Talk Show Thursdays: April 29
West, by "Awesome": April 29-May 1
The Vajayjay Monologues: April 29-May 8
The Fugitives CD Launch: April 30

Also this month, I'm going to be in rehearsal for our upcoming production of i-ROBOT Theatre, running May 5-15. We've been working our firm-yet-supple asses off on this show, so I hope you can check it out!

Have an amazing April! I hope our winding paths will converge at some point this month.

Mark Hopkins
Co-Artistic DIrector
Swallow-a-Bicycle Theatre
www.swallowabicycle.com
403.710.0093

TED - Sir Ken Robinson on creativity

2009-07-12T15:07:00.000-07:00

[cross-posted at Swallow-a-Blogcycle]

I'm a bit behind the times - until recently, I had never seen a TED lecture.

TED stands for "Technology, Entertainment, Design" and, at its core, it is a series of conferences that brings together "the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers" to give a wide variety of presentations. Videos of these presentations are available online at www.ted.com.

One video in particular has been doing the rounds in my artistic circles for quite a while: Ken Robinson on creativity.

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html

I've watched it a couple of times now, and I think it's a tremendously intelligent and important topic. (I wasn't a huge fan of his comments about gender difference at the end, but nobody's perfect.) It's only 20 minutes long; I highly recommend that you set aside the time!

Watching it today, I was immediately reminded of the University of Calgary's recent decision to merge the faculties of Communication and Culture, Fine Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences into a single Franken-faculty.

Over the next little while, I'm going to work my way through the vast library of past TED talks, and I will post links to those that I find particularly compelling. I would love to start a conversation, so if anything sparks you in these videos, please feel free to comment!

Hopkins Happenings - June 2009

2009-06-01T11:20:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone -

June is off-the-hook crazy. Off. The. Hook. At least we won't be bored! My month is full of adventures, including:

ALS Fundraising 2009
Post
Matadora
Markapalooza 2
Betty's Run for ALS
NextFest Nightclubs
Did I mention MARKAPALOOZA 2???

... and just to see who actually reads these things, there's a contest at the end! What fun!

ALS Fundraising 2009

Mark Hopkins' fundraising site

My 2009 fundraising campaign for the ALS Society of Alberta is entering the homestretch, culminating in Betty's Run for ALS (see below) on June 14th! Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far - as of this e-mail, I've raised $5,988 of my $10,000 goal.

This cause is very important to me: my great-uncle, uncle and father all passed away from ALS, and I have a 50% chance of someday being diagnosed. All the money raised will go toward support and care for victims of ALS, and toward research for a cure. The ALS Society of Alberta was an enormous help to my family during my father's illness, and I hope that my fundraising efforts will help them to support other afflicted families.

I am still gratefully accepting donations! You can donate online at this website:www.als.ca/events/mysite.aspx?fid=2704. I can also accept cash or cheques - just contact me at 403.710.0093 or mark.c.hopkins@gmail.com.

For more information about my fundraising efforts and my family's history with ALS, please click these links:

Calgary arts 'phenom' leads fight against ALS - Calgary Herald
Mark's Run - ShawTV Calgary
Choosing Hope over Helplessness - U Magazine
Time and Love - Melanie Jones

POST

June 1, 2009
Pay-What-You-Can
Facebook event page

Calgary, Alberta - 8:00 pm
Auburn Saloon (163 - 115 9th Ave SE)
Toronto, Ontario - 9:00 pm
The Cameron House (408 Queen St West)

June kicks off with a crazy Calgary-Toronto theatrical experiment, which includes a performance by yours truly!

About a month ago, Strangebird Theatre commissioned seven artists in each city to create a short show - theatre, music, dance, whatever - and then send the show to our counterparts in the other city. Their job, in turn, is to adapt and perform the piece they receive. Simple and fun!

The two shows will happen simultaneously, with some crazy Skype action so that we can see what's happening across the country. Alongside musician Brendan McGuigan, I'm performing an adaptation of a Canada Post-inspired song by Toronto artist Marko Panzda... and I have no idea what the other performances will be! It promises to be a wild, diverse and exciting evening of original performance. Hope to see you there!

Matadora

May 27-June 6, 2009
8:00 pm nightly (no show on Sunday, May 31)
2:00 pm matinee on Saturday, June 6
Joyce Doolittle Theatre
Pumphouse Theatres (2140 Pumphouse Ave SW)

Adults $16, Students/Seniors/Equity $12
403.263.0079 - tickets.pumphousetheatre.ca

Trepan Theatre's latest creation, Matadora, opened last week, but you still have six more days to catch the insanity!

Juanita Cruz dreams of becoming a bullfighter, but no one will train her. No one except La Reverte, a transvestite master of the bullring who has fallen into security. Witness the triumphant return of the Gender-Bending Bullfighter in Trepan Theatre's trademark style of tour-de-force physical hilarity. Starring Aaron Coates, Cheryl Hutton and Alice Nelson.

(There's talking bulls, testicle injuries, cross-dressing and a foppish royal family. What more could you want?)

Markapalooza 2

June 6, 7:00 pm-2:00 am
Wild Ginger (115 - 414 3rd St SW)
$15 at the door, or in advance at:
www.swallowabicycle.com/markapalooza2.html

Rockin' party. Fundraiser for the ALS Society of Alberta. Be there.

The second annual Markapalooza has an incredible line-up of performers, includingBalleronster, DJ Noah York City, Dragon Fli Empire, The Fast Romantics, Garter Girls Burly-Q Revue, Gina Dragpiper, The Human Statues, The Shagbots andURBANdivide . Plus, there will be bodypainting, film screenings, a silent auction, a prize raffle and more!

(There's also the rumour of an after-party at Charles Netto's house, but you'll have to ask him about that.)

The party is getting a really good buzz, and it's going to be featured in Swerve Magazine on Friday, so I'd really encourage you to buy your tickets in advance... which you can dohere!

It will be a ridiculous, awesome night of partying, and all the proceeds benefit the ALS Society of Alberta. I promise, this will be one of the best parties of the year. Don't miss it!

Betty's Run for ALS

June 14, 9:00 am
North Glenmore Park Rowing and Canoe Club (6449 Crowchild Trail SW)
www.bettysrun.ca

All the fundraising, all the Markapalooza-ing, it all leads up to this: Betty's Run for ALS!

This will be my third time participating in Betty's Run, which is a major fundraising event for the ALS Society of Alberta, and it will be my first time actually training for the run. (Five miles! Eek! That's, like, eight kilometers!)

You're absolutely welcome to come along, either to run, walk, or just cheer us on. And hey, I'm still fundraising...

Nextfest Niteclubs

June 19 & 20, 9:30 pm
The ARTery (9535 Jasper Avenue, Edmonton)
$5 at the doorwww.nextfest.ca

Nextfest is Edmonton's gigantic, 14-year-old festival for emerging artists, with over 50 events and over 400 artists... including Swallow-a-Bicycle!

The fine folks at Catch the Keys Productions are curating Nextfest Nite Clubs, a series of late-night, multi-disciplinary performance parties. Each night has a different theme, and Swallow-a-Bicycle will perform in The Hurly-Burly Time-Traveling Vaudevillian Serial Comedy Show (June 19) and The SMUT Cabaret: Fetishism (June 20).

We're creating some brand-new performances for this event, so if you're in Edmonton, join us for an evening of performative mayhem!

- - -

After all that, in the early days of July, I'll be participating in the Calgary Blow-Out Festival. Watch for more info in the next newsletter!

I promised a contest, and here it is! The fine folks over at Hole in the Wall Studios have given me several free tickets for the midnight showing of Repo! The Genetic Opera on June 13. The first three people to e-mail me with the word "Repo!" will get a pair of tickets!

Of course, June is full of many other delightful events, and I'll be hitting twenty-five, The Piper, Neruda Nude, Michael Bernard Fitzgerald's Love and Manners CD launch,Tuesdays with Morrie, the IGNITE! Festival, Something to Do with Death, Sled Island andImaginary Ordinary.

And, y'know, hopefully spending some time out in the sun.

Have a great month!

Bag

2009-05-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

I've embarked on a new writing project with my dear friend Colin (more on that later), and it got me rooting through some of my old stories. I found this tidbit skulking on my hard drive, and there's something about it that still charms me.

Enjoy.

Bag

Katie was sitting really still, just like she was supposed to, but the car kept bumping and that made her move. She bounced almost right out of her seat when it bumped big, but her seatbelt was on so that helped. Except for the bouncing, she was almost all still, except she kept turning her head. The bag was sitting on top of the cup holes between the seats and it was staring at her.

“What’s in the bag, Mommy?”

Mom looked over really quick. She didn’t have much time to look over because she was driving and that took concentration.

“Nothing.”

She looked back out the front window, and Katie looked out too, but there was nothing fun, just cars and trees. The car rolled over a bump. The bag rattled.

“But why would there be a bag if there’s nothing?”

Bags don’t have nothing. Bags come with stuff. Mom looked away from the road and looked back fast and wiggled the steering wheel.

“It doesn’t have nothing, just nothing important.”

Katie pulled at her bottom lip. The car bumped and the bag rattled and it was still looking at her.

“What’s not important?”

“Don’t worry about it, Katie.”

Rattle rattle.

There were eyes on the side of the bag, big open circle eyes, looking right at Katie. She pulled at her bottom lip and waited. When Mom turned her head to turn the car, Katie reached really sneaky into the bag and her fingers grabbed a plastic and pulled it up far enough to see.

“Don’t touch that!”

She pulled back her hand and started to cry. It was just medicine, vitamins like Katie chewed in the morning with her cereal, nothing important.

“Katie, honey, just sit still, alright?”

Katie was sitting really still.

Hopkins Happenings - May 2009

2009-05-03T00:18:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone -

Every month, I start off this newsletter by talking about how busy I am. It's time for a change, because... this time I'm not going to talk about it.

Here's what I've got cooking:

A Midsummer Night's Dream
Matadora
ALS Fundraising / Markapalooza 2
POST

A Midsummer Night's Dream

May 7-29, 2009
Tuesday to Saturday @ 8:00 pm
May 16 and 24 @ 2:30 pm
Arrata Opera Centre
1315 7th St SW

Adults $25, Students/Seniors $20
www.shakespearecompany.com

I'm delighted to once again be working with the Shakespeare Company, whose elegant presentations of the Bard's work are consistently excellent.

This famous comedy begins as Duke Theseus prepares to wed Hippolyta, the Queen of Amazons. On the eve of the royal nuptials, forbidden lovers Hermia and Lysander escape into the enchanted wood to elope under the full moon, but the wood's mischievous fairy-folk have other plans in store for the two lovestruck couples.

This production utterly transforms the Arrata Opera Centre into a twilight wonderland, where the forces of nature come to life. Welcome the first days of summer with one of Shakespeare's most enchanting creations!

Matadora

Trepan Theatre is back! I worked with them on last year's catacomb comedy La Mexicaine de Perforation. Now, they turn their slapstick sights on a historical figure from 1920s Spain - La Reverte.

Juanita Cruz dreams of becoming a bullfighter, but no one will train her. No one except La Reverte, a transvestite master of the bullring who has fallen into security. Witness the triumphant return of the Gender-Bending Bullfighter in Trepan Theatre's trademark style of tour-de-force physical hilarity. Starring Aaron Coates, Cheryl Hutton and Alice Nelson.

Should be a rollickin' good time. Hope to see you on opening night!

ALS Fundraising / Markapalooza 2

Mark Hopkins' fundraising site

Markapalooza 2
June 6, 7:00 pm-2:00 am
Wild Ginger (115 - 414 3rd St SW)

Wow. You are a tremendously generous and supportive bunch of people.

I started my 2009 fundraising efforts for the ALS Society of Alberta less than two weeks ago, and with your help, I've already raised over $4,000. That's a huge start toward my $10,000 goal, and I'm blown away by the response. I will still be fundraising until Betty's Run for ALS on June 14, so it's not too late to check out my fundraising site. Your support is enormously appreciated!

(Also, watch for me in the Calgary Herald on Monday, and on ShawTV later this week. The media has picked up on my fundraising efforts! Neat!)

Oh yeah, and I'm throwing a massive birthday party / fundraiser on June 6th.

Markapalooza 2 will be "off" the "hook". I'll be starting my full-blown publicity later this week, and you'll also be able to pre-purchase tickets, but here's a preview: The Human Statues. The Garter Girls Burly-Q Revue. Dragon Fli Empire. Gina Dragpiper. Not to mention bodypainting, merchandise (that's right - more t-shirts), a silent auction and more surprises.

So. Um. Save the date?

POST

June 1, 8:00 pm
Auburn Saloon (163 - 115 9th Ave SE)
Pay-What-You-Can

Okay, yes, this event isn't until June 1st... but what are the chances that I'll get my June newsletter sent out on time? I mean, c'mon.

The crazy kids at Strangebird Theatre have concocted a Calgary-Toronto collaboration for a group of adventurous emerging artists - myself included! Our task is to create a show - theatre, music, dance, whatever - and then send the show to our sister city counterparts, who will adapt and perform it. The Calgary and Toronto performances (and subsequent parties) will happen simultaneously.

So, to re-cap: I write something, send it to Toronto, they adapt it in some crazy way, then it's performed out East. Meanwhile, I perform some poor sucker's piece here in Calgary. Wild!

---

I'll be spending my spare time this month checking out an abundance of brilliant events, including the Calgary International Children's Festival, Studies in Motion: The Hauntings of Eadward Muybridge, Art on Art, Essay and the Russian Play, Carmen & Bolero, Imaginary Ordinary, Jump/Cut, Letters from the WhimsyState, the Flemish Eye Ball, and Evil Dead: The Musical.

Phew.

Have a great May!

Mark Hopkins

Hopkins Happenings - April 2009

2009-04-10T17:48:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone -

It's April! Man, 2009 is just flying past. I've got another busy month, including:

Salon de la Conversation - Re-Launch!
Honesty
Shhhh!
ALS Fundraising - 2009

Salon de la Conversation - Re-Launch!

Every Monday night, 8:00 pm
Kensington Pub
207 10A St NW

Waaaaay back in May 2005, a bunch of us French Immersion veterans got together and said, "Mon français n'est pas aussi good que it used to be." We decided to get together, every Monday night, for drinks and friendly French-language conversation!

For a couple of years, the Kensington Pub was a hotspot for French conversation and our language skills increased exponentially. Over the past several months, malheureusement, Le Salon has gradually faded away. It's time to bring it back!

Si vous parlez français (even if you only speak a little bit!), venez nous rejoindre au Kensington Pub chaque lundi soir! Beer, French conversation and good company: a formula for a fabulous Monday night!

Honesty

April 16-25
Thursday to Saturday @ 8:00 pm
EPCOR CENTRE's Motel
225 8th Ave SE (2nd Floor, across from the Big Secret Theatre)

Tickets $12 at the door, call 403.294.7459 to reserve
www.downstage.ca

The final show in the 2008-09 Motel Series promises to be a gem - it's a new comedy by Calgary playwright extraordinaire, Neil Fleming, author of John Doe/Jack Rabbit, Security and Gnomes!

In the year 2367, lying is impossible. Humans use their brains to full capacity and communicate telepathically. But at the Ministry of Obsolete Technologies, two officers discover a forbidden secret: a pill that can mask brainwaves. Celebrate Canada's 500th birthday with a taboo tale of seduction, deception and chocolate addiction in a play that creates the world of the future, using wit as its weapon of choice. Starring Col Cseke, Aaron Edelstein, Nicola Elson and Jessica Nottell.

Shhhh!

April 28-May 2 @ 8:00 pm
Lantern Community Church
1401 10 Ave SE

$15 at the door, call 403.698.3088 to reserve
www.swallowabicycle.com

You've probably heard me rambling about "Swallow-a-Bicycle", that little theatre company that keeps me insanely busy. Now's your chance to meet the creative team!

Swallow-a-Bicycle consists of myself, Léda Davies and Charles Netto. For this performance, we challenged ourselves to each create a stand-alone half-hour performance using the theme Shhhh! as our starting point. The resulting pieces include a seductive femme fatale, thoughts from the monster under the bed, and an eccentric historian with a story to tell.

As the show develops, we'll post more details on our website (and blog!). In the meantime, you can book your tickets online to see original work on the cutting edge of Calgary's creation scene! (Or whatever.)

ALS Fundraising - 2009

Mark Hopkins' Fundraising Site

My great-uncle, Fred, died of ALS in the 1970s. My uncle, Bob, died of ALS in 2001. My father, Doug, was diagnosed with ALS in July 2006 and passed away on June 3, 2007. I have an approximately 50% chance of someday being diagnosed with the disease.

Every year, I participate in Betty's Run for ALS, a fundraiser for the ALS Society of Alberta, an organisation that helped my family through my father's illness and that supports ALS research. This year, the run takes place on June 14, and I will once again run 5 miles in an effort to raise money toward care, research and an eventual cure.

Last year, my fundraising campaign raised over $12,000. I'm hoping to exceed that amount this year, and your support would be greatly appreciated! Donations are accepted by credit card through the website (click "Donate Now!" at the top of the page), or you can donate by cash or cheque by contacting me at 403.710.0093 or mark.c.hopkins@gmail.com. Donations for $20 or more will be issued a charitable tax receipt.

And, yes, I will be throwing another epic birthday party / fundraiser! You can expect more bands, more bodypainting, more prizes, and more general awesomeness. Markapalooza 2 will be on June 6 - save the date, and watch for more details soon!

---

Amidst all this insanity, I'll be attending a slew of other events, like Taking Flight, Re:Verb, The Calgary Underground Film Festival and The Collection, just to name a few. Hope to see you there!

And, of course, the 'We Should Know Each Other' parties are still going strong. If you'd like to meet a bunch of interesting folks on a Sunday night, drop me a line for more details!

Thanks for bearing with my extended ramblings; that's it until May! Have a great month.

Zero Hour

2009-03-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

"Hi, I'm looking for Mr. Mark Hopkins?"

"That's me."

"Hello, Mr. Hopkins. First, I want to thank you for being a Rogers Wireless customer."

"No problem."

"As a Rogers Wireless customer, I wanted to let you know about the Rocket Stick, a Rogers device that allows you to access the internet..."

"I'm sorry, did you just say Rocket Stick?"

"Yes, I did."

"Who came up with that name?"

"I'm not sure. That's hilarious, you're the second person to ask me that today."

"Rocket Stick. That's ridiculous."

"You don't like the name?"

"No, it's fine, it's just... Rocket Stick? Seriously? Will it blast me onto the internet?"

"Well, yes, exactly! I... don't remember if I said this already, because you started asking me about the name, but it will give you up to 500 MB of high-speed wireless internet. I can send you the Rocket Stick for free, all you'll need to pay is the monthly fee."

"You know what, I've lead a pretty fulfilling life up 'til now, so I think I'm okay without a Rocket Stick."

"Are you sure? The Rocket Stick will help you sleep better at night!"

"Now that you mention it, my sleep has been quite troubled lately."

"You see? That's exactly what I was thinking, I looked at your name and thought, 'I'm going to call Mr. Hopkins and help him with his sleeping problems.' Aren't you happy that I called?"

"Delighted, really. But you know what, I think I'm going to have to pass on the Rocket Stick."

"Well thanks for taking my call, Mark, and I hope you find something to help with your sleep."

Factor E

2009-03-24T23:08:00.001-07:00

Since I'm already quoting, I figured I would toss this one into the mix, from a movie I haven't seen:

Well, I have this friend Mark. Well, he buys all these clothes from Bloomingdale's. But because he's from London, everybody on the Cape keeps talking about his "fabulous English look," which really is so good.

He was at a party up there last weekend and Norman Mailer walked up and punched him in the stomach. When Mark asked him why, he just said it was for wearing a pink coat.

I know I should have been happy for Mark that Norman Mailer punched him, but all I could think was, 'Will Norman Mailer ever punch me?'

I don't even have a pink coat.

Reverie

2009-03-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

I recently re-discovered the fabulous, partially-defunct Calgary band, Reverie Sound Revue, and I've been reveling in the awesomeness of their 6-song album for about a week.

One line, from the song "Rip the Universe", has been haunting me with its piercing accuracy.

"Everyone is kinda lazy / When it's time to kiss a lady"

Amen to that. Seriously.

Other Things that Pissed Me Off Today:

2009-03-17T23:40:00.000-07:00

Minister won't confirm belief in evolution.

(Followed up with 'Minister clarifies stand on evolution', which somehow failed to quell my concerns.)

Pope says condoms not answer to fighting AIDS. "On the contrary, it increases the problem."

"Unmasking Choice" on the side of a truck, driving by as I enjoy a hot chocolate in Kensington.

I mean, fuckin' hell. Can't there be a moratorium on idiocy? Just until I die. Eighty years, tops.

Bushwacked

2009-03-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

George W. Bush ate dinner at Osteria De Medici last night. His five dining companions ate Alberta beef, but George decided on pasta.

This was deemed newsworthy by the Toronto Star, CBC and Canada.com.

It makes me mildly uncomfortable to know that one of the world's most reviled men spent yesterday evening in my neighbourhood, at a restaurant that I walk past almost daily. On the other hand, I've always found Osteria a bit pompous. I mean, c'mon. Who has valet parking in a strip mall?

Calgary, "perhaps the only city in Canada that would have him", was the first stop on Dubya's post-presidency speaking tour, a dubious honour at best. He spoke at a $400-a-plate, invitation-only, media-barred luncheon at the Telus Convention Centre. I didn't make the invitation list.

I first heard about Bush's impending visit in the Herald, but most of the reminders came from a fabulous group of people going by the name 'People Vs. Bush'. Over the past several days, they've organised a number of anti-Bush events, including a mock trial, a memorial wall, a rally and a film festival, and garnered a fair amount of media attention in doing so. (They actually invited Swallow-a-Bicycle to take part in the mock trial, but unfortunately I got the message too late.)

The protest rally on Stephen Avenue started at about 11:30 this morning. When I had arrived at work, a few hours earlier, the street was already swarming with police and well-dressed men in shiny black cars. When 11:30 hit, Johnny and I decided to check out the action.

As we approached, we could see that Stephen Ave was packed. We stopped before crossing Macleod ("There's no way I'm jaywalking," said Johnny, staring pointedly at the police van next to us) and, as we stared across the street, it was obvious that there were two distinct groups filling the street.

First, and most colourfully, were the protestors. They had signs and banners, demanding the truth behind 9/11 and justice for the victims of a reckless regime, denouncing illegal wars and state-sponsored torture. One woman was dressed like a Guantanamo prisoner, standing next to an elastic-propelled "shoe cannon". They chanted "Go home!", "Criminal!" and "Shame on you!"

Then, outnumbering the protestors almost 10-to-1, were the luncheon's attendees, stretched out in a line that started at the Convention Centre doors and went all the way down the block, then around the corner. Due either to massive oversight or sadistic planning, the luncheon's security measures had slowed entrance to a crawl. Access to the building was limited to a single door, and guests were subjected to searches so intimate that, when they were proved weaponless, they went scrambling for the wine bar to help forget the ordeal.

As a result, several hundred of Calgary's wealthiest citizens were left outside, single-file, waiting in the cold, being heckled, chastized, jostled and booed by passionate objectors.

Walking down that line was a surreal and somewhat terrifying experience, like walking past a living chain of cut-out dolls. The attendees were almost completely demographically homogenous: the vast majority were Caucasian men, between the ages of 40-70, and wearing identical navy-blue business suits.

If these are the people tugging on Calgary's political puppet strings, it's no wonder this city sometimes drives me fucking insane.

The reports say that over 1,500 people paid $400 a head to attend the luncheon, a fact that makes me ashamed and disgusted to call Calgary my home. Where is that money going? What about that man makes him worth a $400 ticket, makes him worth standing in the cold, being heckled by two hundred protesters?

In Johnny's neighbourhood, people had glued Bush's face to the soles of old shoes, tied them together and tossed them over phone lines. For the past several days, whenever he looked up, there was an unmistakable statement: "You're not welcome here."

This morning, Johnny opened his door to discover all the shoes had vanished. "They can't clear the snow off our streets," he grumbled, "but heaven forbid they offend George W."

Apparently Aldermen John Mar and Ric McIver were inside the luncheon, while I spotted Druh Farrell and Joe Ceci outside with the protestors. It occurs to me that the alderman I like (Farrell, Ceci, Pincott) must have a pretty damn hard job. Thank you, councillors, for your ongoing work.

In fact, Farrell and Ceci were among the only familiar faces in the crowd. I ran into Karen Ball from CADA, but... that was about it. I didn't even see Grant Neufeld! (though I'm sure he was there)

I was surprised. I had expected to see throngs of my artist friends, outraged that this war criminal was being welcomed in our hometown.

Now, granted, I was hardly committed to the protest myself. I wandered through the crowds, made some snide comments as I walked past the luncheon line-up, grabbed a breakfast wrap at Jugo Juice, and went back to work. As I walked back to the OYR office, I wondered, why wasn't I there in the midst of it? Why wasn't I hoisting a placard, yelling "Criminal!" with the rest of the crowd?

I don't know.

I hate the actions that Bush took while in office. I hate that he deemed Calgary to be the friendliest place for his first post-presidency appearance. I hate basically everything he represents. But somehow, the appeal of Excel spreadsheets and final reports overpowered my righteous outrage.

So that's me. What about you?

Why weren't you there?

Feminesque

2009-03-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

Over at the Facebook page for Kabuki Guns Burlesque, a discussion about burlesque and feminism has arisen. After all the attention that my last burlesque post received, I figured there might be some interest! The post can be found here.

I'll be taking in quite a bit of burlesque in the next little while, starting with the KGB's Burlesque Fest on March 20, and then the Garter Girls at a fundraiser for the ACAD Feminist Book Club on March 27. Perhaps you can join me?

Dudes

2009-03-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend is insane.

Leaving aside the usual batch of Swallow-a-Bicycle insanity (Sexual Outlaws party tonight, Spark a Revolution rehearsal tomorrow), I'm performing in a staged reading of Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde tomorrow and Monday with Maple Salsa.

I'm acting. Ahhh!

This all started a few weeks ago, when Elan Pratt of Maple Salsa sent out an e-mail, saying that they were in search of nine (count 'em, NINE) male actors to do a staged reading in March. I hadn't acted in a while, and this sounded like a nice low-pressure, low-commitment way to get back into the game, so I signed up on the spot!

... and that's why I've spent about twenty-five hours over the past three weeks in the Theatre Calgary Rehearsal Hall with nine other dudes. Under the expert direction of Javier Vilalta, we can now read out of binders like nobody's business, and I'm confident that we will kick some serious Victorian ass on Sunday and Monday.

It's a long play, and there are long stretches where I have nothing to say or do, which has given me plenty of time to contemplate. And at some point I realised... I don't spend a lot of time with guys.

It's been months since I've had a "boys' night" of video games and beer. I don't watch hockey or soccer or (insert organized sport here). And when I do get together with buddies, it tends to be one-on-one catch-up time.

While a nine-man cast doesn't do much for Calgary's plentiful community of talented and underworked female actors, it certainly creates a unique environment.

The rehearsal hall isn't really representative of your typical male bonding experience (well, maybe it is... we spend a lot of the time half-dressed and stroking each other), but I've been delighting in the opportunity to spend time with dudes. Every time Brad asks me to check the hockey scores on my Blackberry, I mentally pump a fist in the air. As I convey the third-period stats of the Penguins vs. whoever, I am part of the inner sanctum of male-ness. I follow sports! I am man!

Then I nibble on one of Brad's bakery-fresh peanut butter cookies and squeal at its yumminess.

After one of our rehearsals last week, a few of us ended up at the Auburn (where we accidentally caught the first rehearsal of the Calgary division of the Sons of Negus, which pretty much ruled!) and, over the course of two beers and some unsatisfying hummus, we talked about comic books and movies and assorted nonsense. It was rad.

I socialise a lot, but I don't tend to hang out very much. After this show is over, I think I'm about due for a full-on guys' night.

Any takers?

Hopkins Happenings - March 2009

2009-03-04T04:24:00.000-08:00

I don't know how it happened, exactly, but March is BUSY! There aren't enough hours...
(Also, how is it March already? We're three months into 2009? Geesh.)

Here's a taste of what's keeping me occupied in the next several weeks:

flywheel reading series
'We Should Know Each Other' - Silver Jubilee!
Sexual Outlaws
Loony Winter Carnival
Gross Indecency
Highway 63: The Fort Mac Show
Spark a Revolution

flywheel reading series

Thursday, March 5, 7:30 pm

Pages Books on Kensington

1135 Kensington Rd NW

For a couple of years, I was the curator of filling Station magazine's flywheel reading series, which takes place on the first Thursday of each month. Now, I'm coming back as a performer!

flywheel puts the spotlight on local writers, and always features an eclectic mix of poetry, prose and... well, in my case, "miscellaneous". Hosted by ryan fitzpatrick (on his birthday!), the March edition of flywheel will feature readings by Patrick Horner, Stuart Ian McKay, Brent Schaus... and me! My performance will involve cake and wackiness. You don't want to miss out on cake and wackiness, let me tell you.

'We Should Know Each Other' - Silver Jubilee!

Sunday, March 8, 7:00-11:00 pm

Chez Mark

In February 2008, I started hosting 'We Should Know Each Other' parties at my apartment. Now, a year later, we have reached WSKEO #25! Twenty-five freakin' parties... that's a lot.

I'm going to be in a celebratory mood, so if you've been meaning to attend a WSKEO but just haven't gotten around to it, maybe this is your moment! And if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but you're intrigued, drop me a line and I'll give you more details.

Networking and hummus! Hooray!

Sexual Outlaws

Saturday, March 14

Palomino Smokehouse

109 7th Ave SW

Doors at 9:00 pm, Show at 9:30 pm

Tickets $12 in advance, $15 at the door

www.swallowabicycle.com

Wow! Swallow-a-Bicycle has a brand-new website! How great is that?

*ahem*

It's been a while since the Swallow-a-Bicycle crew last got our party on, and we're due. Join us for an evening of eroticism, debauchery and dancing! The evening has a killer line-up - Kris Demeanor, The Firm Handshake, Seven Story Redhead and DJ GoodWord - not to mention some other surprise performances, sexy hosting by AJ Demers, body painting by Reia Lance and Aga Bona, and a prize raffle for sex toy packages ("His", "Hers" and "Couples").

We're going to rock the Palomino in sensual Swallow-a-Bicycle style. Hope you can be there!

Loony Winter Carnival

Sunday, March 15, 11:00 am-6:00 pm
Tuxedo Park Community Hall
202 29th Ave NE
$20 per family, or $5 per head

In April, the final show in the 2008-09 Motel Series is Honesty, a new script by Calgary's acclaimed playwright, Neil Fleming, co-presented by his new comedy company, Two Sheds Theatre. Because he's fabulous, Neil wants to pay his actors; hence the Loony Winter Carnival, an afternoon of fundraising and good, clean fun!

There will be games, prizes, face-painting, hot dogs, hot chocolate, and a special reading of Neil's play, Gnomes, performed by Trevor Reuger, Karen Johnston-Diamond and Andy Curtis. And if you really want to get into the spirit, you can gather a team of four and compete in a series of games for the legendary Golden Finklebottom Trophy! The entry fee for a team is only $50, and there are some fantastic prizes to be won.

For more info, you can contact Neil at foilcup@telusplanet.net. It'll be good fun for a good cause!

Gross Indecency

Sunday, March 15 @ 6:00 pm and Monday, March 16 @ 7:30 pm
Theatre Calgary Rehearsal Hall
EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
Pay-What-You-Can

Mark Hopkins? Performing in a script-based play? Shocking!

Okay, so it's actually a staged reading, but I'm pretty psyched to try out my "actor" hat for a while. This month (March 3-22), Theatre Calgary is producing The Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde. As a bonus for Wilde fans, they invited Maple Salsa to perform a reading of Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde by Moises Kaufman. The play interweaves actual courtroom testimonies with excerpts of Wilde's writing (notably his letters and parts of The Picture of Dorian Gray) and the words of his contemporaries. Sodomy, poetry and Victorian rivalries - what more could you want?

I'm thrilled and intimidated to be working with a kick-ass cast of local gentlemen: Peter Aitchison, Mathew Glessing, Braden Griffiths, Kevin MacDonnell, Derek Paulich, Michael Rogers, Brad Simon and Geoff Woods, under the direction of Javier Vilalta. It's a really interesting script, I'm quite proud of the work we're doing in rehearsal, and all the proceeds benefit Maple Salsa's next show. Winning combination!

To reserve seats, call 403-294-7440 ext. 1344 or email jkinch@theatrecalgary.com.

Highway 63: The Fort Mac Show

March 24-28 @ 8:00 pm
Thursday, March 26 @ 11:00 pm
Saturday, March 28 @ 2:00 pm

Motel (across from the Big Secret Theatre)
EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
Tickets $12
www.downstage.ca

The third instalment in the 2008-09 Motel Series! Highway 63 delves into life in Fort McMurray, the heart of the oilsands and a centre for global controversy. Six theatre artists (of a rather all-star variety: Georgina Beaty, Layne Coleman, Charlotte Corbeil-Coleman, Greg Gale, John Popkin and Jonathan Seinan) have spent three weeks living in Fort Mac, meeting its residents and soaking in the reality of Northern Alberta. Based on this experience, they will perform an original creation that spotlights the people of Fort McMurray, from waitresses to riggers, social workers to labour leaders.

I'm tremendously excited about this highly topical show from a group of incredibly talented artists. It's a one-week run with a limited capacity, so make sure to snag your tickets early! To reserve, call Downstage at 403.294.7459.

Spark a Revolution

Saturday, March 28 @ 7:00 pm
Westbury Theatre, TransAlta Arts Barn
10330 84 Avenue
Edmonton, Alberta
$100

Fringe Theatre Adventures, the fine folks behind the Edmonton Fringe Festival, have put together a high-energy performance party/fundraising event, celebrating revolutionary creativity! There will be raffle prizes, live auctions and a wide diversity of theatre, music, dance and film performances.

Swallow-a-Bicycle has been invited to create an original performance for the event - our Edmonton debut! If you're going to be up in E-Town, this promises to be an utterly rockin' party. And hey, you can get a tax receipt for part of the ticket price. Bonus!

You can get tickets here or by calling 780-409-1910

- - -

Even aside from all the stuff I'm personally involved in, March is simply crammed with awesomeness. There's Factory Party 5, Blitz Weekend at the playRites Festival, the premiere of Watchmen, Ayla Stephen's one-woman show Tree Hugger, the $100 Film Fest, the Improv Brier, a Francophone Poetry SLAM, Burlesque Fest, and the Curvilicious fundraiser, just to name a few. There's certainly no excuse for boredom!

Then, coming up in April, I've got Honesty with the Motel Series and Shhhh! with Swallow-a-Bicycle... ah, but those are topics for another newsletter.

Have a great March!

Silver

2009-01-27T02:10:00.001-08:00

Wow. I am really bad at daily blogging.

I will soon write a post about last week's crazy-ass dinner, and a follow-up to my burlesque rant. In the meantime, I found out today that an article I published in a recent issue of U Magazine won a silver award from the Council for Advancement and Support of Education. I don't exactly know what that means, but it made me re-read the article. I'm kind of proud of how it came out.

If you have a moment, take a peek. Here it is.

Thinning the Competition

2009-01-18T15:52:00.001-08:00

In writing the previous blog post, I discovered that the illustrious Dr. Mark Hopkins has moved to Nova Scotia.

Calgary is mine!

The Globe and Mark

2009-01-18T02:10:00.000-08:00

I was at work this week, busy doing something, when I got a call on my cell from an unknown number. I ignored it, probably a credit card company or a stalker.

That afternoon, I checked my voicemail.

"Mark, it's Corinne calling from Harvey Weingarten's office at the University of Calgary, and I'm calling with a very late invitation. My fault, I've been away on the Christmas break, and I returned just this week.

"The editor-in-chief of the Globe & Mail, Ed Greenspon, is going to be here in Calgary on January 19, next Monday, and Harvey is taking him out for dinner. We were wondering if you would like to join them.

"There are a few other people attending as well. If you're available, can you let me know? I can also let you know who the other attendees are. Thanks Mark! Bye."

Guh?

It was almost 5:00 on Wednesday. I called back immediately, and caught Corinne before she left the office. I thanked her for the invitation and accepted. She was delighted.

After I hung up, I took a moment. Why the hell was I being invited to dine with Harvey Weingarten and Ed Greenspon?

I called my mom. She thought it was pretty cool. "What if they've got the wrong Mark Hopkins?" I asked. "So what?" she replied.

See, Mark Hopkins is a pretty common name. There's a hotel in San Francisco, a sculptor in Colorado, an American railroad magnate... and Dr. Mark Hopkins, a conductor and music instructor at the University of Calgary.

The next morning, I got an e-mail from Corinne that invited me to a seminar, featuring Ed Greenspon, for the "senior leaders and emerging leaders here on campus". It also listed the dinner attendees: a couple Associate Vice-Presidents, a Provost (?), the Dean of the Haskayne School of Businesss... and no mention whatsoever of Mark Hopkins. Further convinced that they had the wrong guy, I shot an e-mail back:

"I have to admit, not being an Associate Vice-President of anything, that I feel somewhat out of my depth in that list of names. I guess I fit into the "emerging leaders" category!"

I thought this was my out. If they had the wrong guy, this would definitely clue them off. Then I got an e-mail back from Corinne, two minutes later:

"That's great news. I will be at the seminar, so don't hesitate to come and introduce yourself to me."

Guh?

Finally, on Friday, I received the full, final list of highly Google-able attendees. We've got:

Ed Greenspon (Editor-in-Chief, The Globe and Mail)

Mr. Greenspon's Wikipedia entry reveals a long history of investigative journalism (starting with unveiled corruption in the residence student government at Carleton University!). He's the co-author of Double Vision, a book about the Liberal government of Jean Chretien and Paul Martin. He's been EiC of The Globe and Mail since 2002.

Harvey Weingarten (President and Vice-Chancellor, University of Calgary)

Dr. Harvey P. Weingarten is the U of C's seventh President and Vice-Chancellor, a position he's held since 2001. He is a doctor of psychology, with a PhD from Yale.

Catherine Bagnell Styles (Associate Vice-President, External Relations, University of Calgary)

Ms. Bagnell Styles worked in marketing with Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts, Canadian Airlines and Wardair before landing the External Relations gig at U of C. She's the current President of Decidedly Jazz Danceworks.

Colleen Turner (Associate Vice-President, Communications, University of Calgary)

Ms. Turner is the editor over at U Magazine, which kind of makes her my boss.

Len Waverman (Dean, Haskayne School of Business, University of Calgary)

Dr. Waverman holds a PhD from M.I.T., was awarded the medal of Chevalier dans les Ordres de Palme Académique by the Government of France, and came to the U of C from the London School of Business. He is apparently a "world-renowned expert in international telecommunications and resources management". Neat.

Alan Harrison (Provost and Vice-President Academic)

Provost! What a great, and slightly ambiguous, title. It refers to a "senior academic administrator" at an institution of higher education. Dr. Harrison (PhD in economics from the University of Essex) is a Provost twice over, first at Carleton and now at U of C. He has two kids and enjoys jazz music.

Leslie Reid (Faculty of Science)

Dr. Reid is the U of C's first Tamaratt Teaching Professor in Geoscience, and is the star of an "Innovators" video produced by U of C External Relations. (Catherine Bagnell Styles, was this your doing?) She knows the difference between "using" and "utilizing", which has always mystified me.

Tom Flanagan (Department of Political Science)

Dr. Flanagan is senior fellow in the Fraser Institute, a "free-market think-tank", and a member of the Calgary School, which Dr. Radha Jhappan has referred to as the "department of redneckology". He's been called "The Prince of Darkness" by CBC's Ira Basen for the views expressed in his book First Nations? Second Thoughts, and "The Man Behind Stephen Harper" by The Walrus for his role as Harper's national campaign director.

Rod Love (consultant)

Mr. Love was the Executive Assistant to Mayor Ralph Klein, and remained hitched to that wagon until he became Chief of Staff to Premier Ralph Klein. He ran unsuccessfully in a Calgary-Buffalo provincial by-election in 1992 and created Rod Love Consulting Inc. in 1998. He's a recipient of the Governor General's Medal for Outstanding Community Service, and sits on the board of governors of the University of Calgary and the Canada West Foundation.

... and ...

Mark Hopkins (local arts enthusiast, columnist for several Calgary publications, and U of C young alumni)

I've heard of this guy... doesn't he have a pompous t-shirt with his name on it?

So. Should be an interesting meal.

I still have no idea why I was invited to this event, though I suspect I'm meant to represent Calgary's "leaders of tomorrow" or something. Regardless, I'm going to print me some business cards and try not to spill any wine!

Drip. Drip. Drip.

2008-12-17T23:59:00.000-08:00

In my office, there's some sort of drip, an irregular tapping noise on the ceiling above my head. It's started to drive me absolutely nuts, to the point that I escaped the house at 8:00 this morning for the drip-free OYR office (and nearly gave Johnny a heart attack when he arrived at 8:45 to find me at my desk).

On the bright side, the dripping has pushed me to dig out my headphones and plug back into iTunes. Right now, I'm listening to the Brazilian Girls. WHO APPARENTLY HAVE A NEW ALBUM HOLY CRAP!

I'm now listening to the new Brazilian Girls album. Technology rules.

"There won't be nudity or anything inappropriate. Calgary's not ready for that."

2008-12-16T01:26:00.000-08:00

... sez Tim Tamashiro, creator of the blessedly short-lived Calgary phenomenon, Spurlesque, "the world's only cowgirl burlesque show", that debuted (and seems to have concluded) during the 2006 Calgary Stampede.

I interviewed Tamashiro back in '06, a few months before Spurlesque hit the Quincy's stage, in an article for Avenue called "Sexy Subversion". It was a decent interview, he was a nice guy, but it seemed to me that he didn't quite get burlesque.

"Most people associate burlesque with pasties and fat girls," he said. "In my show, they're all completely top-of-the-ranks beautiful. They're extremely sexy, and really outgoing and gregarious, but they're also very good dancers at the same time, right?"

Good dancers, that's... that's good.

"I don't know about you," he continued, "but I started sniffing around the new burlesque troupes that are happening around, and I'll be perfectly honest with you, it just doesn't do it for me. It seems like there's a bit of kitschiness about it. They're dressed in period costumes, a lot of tattooed girls. It really is a fringe type of thing."

That's where we agree. Burlesque is a fringe type of thing. It's witty, satirical and counter-cultural... none of which characteristics have any place around Quincy's during the Calgary Stampede.

"I've trademarked the name Spurlesque, by the way, which I'm very excited about."

...

Master Sarah Moanies, the former MC of Kabuki Guns Burlesque, was always on message. No matter where she was interviewed, there was always a similar quote: "Burlesque comes from a day when sex and sexuality was still a mystery. A long black skirt with a tall slit up the leg is far more sexy than a mini-skirt."

(In my Avenue piece: "Burlesque hearkens back to a time when sexuality still had a little mystery and plastic did not make perfect. ... A long skirt with a slit up the leg is far sexier than a miniskirt.")

It's a good soundbyte, and that's why it kept getting printed. But more importantly, Moanies provided Calgary with a spokesperson for burlesque that understood its history, its image, and the need for a consistent message.

Contrary to Tamashiro's "pasties and fat girls", I'd argue that most people associate burlesque with the Pussycat Dolls who, unless I've been looking at the wrong photoshoots, don't subscribe to Moanies' long skirt philosophy. As a public face for burlesque in Calgary, Moanies reminded us that burlesque (done right) has more in common with old-style vaudeville than with the French Maid.

Alas, Master Moanies has left Calgary for warmer shores. We miss you!

The Kabuki Guns are still active. Admittedly, I haven't seen many of their recent shows... but I worry when I see photos of their latest fundraiser, a bikini carwash.

On Saturday, I headed over to the Palomino to see the Garter Girls (formerly the Calgary Burlesque Collective). I first encountered this group when they very generously performed at Swallow-a-Bicycle's Lust After Sunset party/fundraiser at Juilliard. They pretty much rocked, and helped to make the party a rousing success. When I heard they were performing alongside some rockabilly bands, I figured it would be a Saturday evening well-spent.

Don't get me wrong, I had a good time. But I have to admit, I was disappointed with the show.

Nearly every set started, and ended, the same way. The MC, dressed as Mrs. Claus, gave a sassy introduction. The dancer entered, stage right, in an elaborate costume. A Christmas tune was pumped through the speakers, and the elaborate costume was stripped down to panties and tasseled pasties. A quick tassel-twirl, and that's a wrap! Even Axis D'Evil, who gave a rowdy and respectable performance as a filthy, hard-rockin' Santa Claus, twirled those tassels for her grand finale.

You can imagine my delight, then, when Sugar Mae B. did something different.

When she entered stage right, she was already nearly bare, her panties and pasties concealed only by a pair of white-feathered shields that were part angel wings, part snow domes. Her dance was slow and measured, and whenever one of the wings made a broad stroke overhead, the other was there to conceal her, giving us only the briefest hints of skin. It was subtle. Mischievous. Seductive.

At the end, with a smirk, the wings finally parted.
But wasn't about the big finish. We already knew she was naked. It was about the experience.

(At least, it was for me. The douchebag next to me, on the other hand, gruffly called out: "Drop the wings, hon, we can't see anything.")

Now, I'm in no way impartial - Ms. Sugar Mae is a friend of mine. And, granted, her set didn't have much in the way of satire, or commentary, or transgression. But I was thrilled and refreshed to see the formula broken, and to be engaged by her sensuality instead of her sexuality.

Saturday night was a landmark for the Garter Girls; it was the final show for their founder, Betty Galore, before her indefinite hiatus from burlesque. It's hard to say what this will mean for the group. I, for one, hope that their next evolution shows less strip, and more tease.

Calgary's burlesque "community", as it were, is pretty much dominated by the KGB and the Garter Girls, but as I was writing this, I took a casual stroll through Google and discovered Burlesquercise, a burlesque-themed fitness dance class by Diva Di.

At first, I was pretty sure this was another Spurlesque-esque cash-in. The class descriptions are ripe with high heels and Pussycat Dolls, and one of the advanced classes is titled "Chair Tease". But Di's resume looks pretty solid, and the site is also peppered with words like "confidence", "transformation", "empowerment", and welcomes "Women of all ages, levels, shapes and sizes." Who knows?

I guess Diva Di will be starting up her own troupe, The Little Vegas Dance Company, in '09. I look forward to seeing if they'll bring forward anything new.

The world is just begging for parody. Proposition 8. The economic recession. The pro-roguing of Parliament - hell, Canadian politicians are practically writing their own sketches. These things are gifts for anyone working in burlesque.

There's already plenty of nudity going around. It's time to see something inappropriate.

Believe me, Calgary is ready.

Touch me, baby, bite my tongue

2008-12-03T22:58:00.000-08:00

I got my first job when I was fourteen, working for the Kinsmen Club of Calgary at the Calgary Stampede. I worked in a team of four, two guys, two girls. Our job was simple: at pre-arranged times throughout the day, we would carry food and water to the various Kinsmen booths spread throughout the Stampede grounds. The booth-dwellers welcomed us gratefully, especially on the hot days. We would then drag our empty jugs back to the Kinsmen office and sit around, waiting for the next run.

The girls were older, fifteen I think. The other guy was older still, sixteen or seventeen. At fourteen, I was awkward, introverted and lacking that key piece of common sense that helps teenagers make friends.

I brought a book with me, probably something by Anne McCaffrey or David Eddings. And while I can't remember exactly, I'm sure I found some chair in the corner and read my book while the others played poker, or blackjack, or backgammon. I didn't really understand those games, nor did I understand that the games weren't the point.

Being stuck in a room with them for eight hours a day, it was inevitable that I would develop a crush on the girls. But, of course, I had no idea how to approach them, so I sat in my corner, ate my packed lunch, and inserted hasty comments into whatever conversation they were having. My awkwardness must have shone like a beacon, because eventually, when they got bored of card games or flirting, they turned to me.

They asked me if I'd ever kissed a girl, which I hadn't.

"Yeah, of course," I said, blushing.

"With tongue?" one of the girls asked.

I gave her what I hoped was a withering glare, seeped in disdain. With tongue? Is there a kiss without tongue? Give me a break.

I guess the glare worked, because the questioning stopped. They accepted that, okay, the nerd had a little more play than they'd expected. I went back to my book in quiet humiliation, my face burning.

A song came on the radio - "Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" by Pras, featuring Mya and ODB. One of the girls squealed, turned to the guy.

"Will you sing along with me?" she asked.

He shook his head, no way, turned back to his cards. Sulking, she looked around the room and caught my eye.

"Do you know this song?" she asked. I didn't.

"Yeah, of course," I replied.

"Will you sing along with me?" she asked. "I never have a guy to sing the guy parts with me."

"Uh," I said. "Nah. No, sorry."

"Come on! Why not?"

"I don't sing," I said firmly, and that was that. The guy looked up, nodded at me. Solidarity. Dudes don't sing. The girl shrugged, sighed, went back to watch the cards. And on our crackly radio, the song played.

Run away with me, to another place.
We can rely on each other, uh-huh.
From one corner to another, uh-huh.

Hopkins Happenings - December 2008

2008-12-03T22:50:00.001-08:00

Hi everyone,

It's newsletter time again! December is a comparably slow month for me, which is kind of great, since January will be freakin' nuts. Here's what I've got coming up:

Body Language
Raggedy Ann & Andy
Christmas Ham(let)
Swimming in Shallow Water
Salon de la conversation
Roommate Search 2009

Body Language

December 4-6, 8:00 pm
Motel, EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
$12

Body Language, part of Downstage's Motel Series, features two performances: Do Me, by Jennifer Roberts, and Pouring the Liquid Unseen, by Marie-Ève Bonneau. We've just finished the first week of the run, and there are three performances remaining!

Do Me explores the dance of romance, as men and women clash, crash and unite in a series of vignettes. Pouring the Liquid Unseen invites the audience to a private transformative experience, which combines movement, dance and music for an intimate exploration of healing, improvisation and the fluidity of the human experience.

Plus, there are black lights and naughty words! Don't miss it!

Raggedy Ann & Andy

December 10-12 at 7:30 pm, December 13-14 at 2:30 pm
Vertigo Studio Theatre (base of the Calgary Tower)
$8-$12

In a magical playroom, Babette the French doll is kidnapped by Leonard-the-Looney-Hearted! Raggedy Ann and Andy climb out the window and embark on a daring rescue mission through the deep, deep woods, where they confront swamp monsters, witches and more. Directed by the superbly talented Kristin Eveleigh and featuring a cast of up-and-coming teenage actors, this holiday production is suitable for ages 3+.

Visit Calgary Young People's Theatre for more information.

Christmas Ham(let)

December 1, 8:00 pm

Ramsay Community Hall (1136 8th St SE)
$15

Swallow-a-Bicycle is doing a holiday show! Who would have thought? You are cordially invited to join Claudius and Gertrude for their wedding reception, which swiftly transforms into a 90-minute condensed version of Shakespeare's Hamlet.

Directed by Jonathan Seinen, the show features an all-star cast of Alex Arsenault, Kate Bateman, Ellen Close, Mat Glessing, Len Harvey, Wil Knoll, Simone Saunders and Jordan Schartner! (Wow!) Hamlet is played by Stephen Kent, who understudied for the role this summer at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival.

Should be pretty freakin' cool. Besides, what else are you doing on December 19-20? Shopping? Pssh.

Swimming in Shallow Water

markchopkins.blogspot.com

I've started a blog! In theory, I update it daily, though occasionally I miss a day (or six). I need motivation to keep this sucker going, so if you've got some time to kill, check it out!

Salon de la Conversation

Every Monday, around 8:00 pm
Kensington Pub
207 10A St NW

For a couple of years, a group of French-speakers have been meeting at the Kensington Pub every Monday night to... well, drink beer and speak French. It's a great, friendly environment to brush up on your language skills and meet some cool people. Si vous parlez français, j'espère de vous voir au Kensington Pub lundi soir!

Roommate Search 2009

My fabulous roommate, Danielle, is moving out. Boo! So I need a new tenant. Yay!

I have a kickass condo in a great location (off Memorial Drive, just north of Prince's Island Park), so if you know anyone looking for a place to live, please point them in my direction. I'm looking for someone as of January 1, but Danielle will be out in mid-December, so the move-in date is pretty flexible.

Come live with me!

- - -

A nice, laid-back December! Oh, and of course, there are a couple of We Should Know Each Other parties this month (#20 and #21, I think), and if you'd like to attend, just drop me a line.

I don't have New Year's Eve plans yet. Suggestions?

Next month is the High Performance Rodeo, and my life explodes until February. If you want to hang out, let's do it in December!

Farewell, 2008. You've been a good year...

Mark Hopkins

Rum, maybe? Brandy?

2008-11-24T22:43:00.001-08:00

The mint brownie is gone. I gave it to my downstairs neighbour. I just ate the lemon loaf. A little stale, but not bad.

So: I'm pretty stressed out. And lots of the people I know seem to be stressed out. But we really shouldn't be. I mean, if we miss a deadline, it's not as if anyone will die. They'll just be, y'know. Pissed off that we missed a deadline.

Maybe I should take up meditation. Or start doing yoga again.

See? Now I'm stressed about not doing enough yoga. Damn it all.

Ran into some boys from the Arbour Lake Sghool tonight, and was recommended a drink: a stout beer with a shot of Wild Turkey and a shot of... dammit, I've forgotten the last ingredient. I shall have to try every possible variety of liquor until something tastes good.

Oh, and...

2008-11-23T23:44:00.001-08:00

Fabulous linguistic discoveries of the day:

"Don't they know that smoking's a gamble? They can gamble on any streetcorner!"
- Jason Long, in a discussion of smoking in casinos

"The unceasing onslaught of fresh musical delights can overwhelm even the most devoted music fan."
- on the back of Have You Heard, a Starbucks-exclusive compilation CD

Caffeine Nation

2008-11-23T22:57:00.001-08:00

I learned a lot about Starbucks tonight.

I learned that their big bucket 'o coffee is not called a "Travel Kit", but rather a "Coffee Traveller".

After confusing the barista at the Memorial Drive Starbucks by asking for a "Travel Kit", I learned that the Memorial Drive Starbucks was out of "Coffee Travellers".

I learned that, near my home, there are (at least) three Starbucks in a ten-block radius: the Memorial Drive, Bridgeland and Centre Street locations.

I learned that these three locations are buddies. Upon discovering they were out of "Coffee Travellers", Memorial Drive called Bridgeland to get the phone number for Centre Street, to ask Centre Street to prepare a "Coffee Traveller" full of "Home Brew" (which is more popular than "Dark Roast") so it would be ready when I arrived.

I learned that cute young baristas will take pity on a hapless non-coffee drinker and tell him that, yes, people do generally appreciate the inclusion of cream and sugar.

I learned that cute young baristas will accept the request for a "small but delicious variety of pastries" as a personal challenge. They will select, among others items, a slice of lemon loaf, a mint brownie and a raspberry-triangle-thing.

I learned that a "Coffee Traveller" and seven pastries cost $28 and change.

I learned that a "Coffee Traveller" contains more than enough coffee for five board members, who, despite the public announcement, were the only people who showed up for CYPT's Annual General Meeting.

I learned that caffeine and sugar greatly enhance the entertainment value of an AGM.

Those are the things I learned about Starbucks tonight. I have a slice of lemon loaf and a mint brownie in my kitchen, if anyone's interested.

bold art and hard sex

2008-11-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

Somebody wrote that on my fridge with magnetic poetry. Two very admirable goals for life.

I went to see Dance Montage 2008 tonight (and arrived twenty minutes early - YES!), which is an annual showcase of short choreography. It was a mixed bag of performances, though lovely Léda Davies kicked some serious ass as both a dancer (in N'Bara Ta-Gan) and choreographer (for Wanderlust). Yay Léda!

Flipping through the program, I noticed that several dancers were pulling double-duty, performing in different pieces. And then I noticed that some dancers were pulling triple-duty. And then I noticed that a woman named Chelsey Higdon was performing in FIVE out of eleven pieces. Damn, girl, that's a lot of rehearsals.

Unsurprisingly, from where I was sitting, Chelsey was gorgeous. The pieces she performed ranged from belly dance to hip-hop to contemporary to ballet, and she figured prominently in each of them.

After Resistance (a pretty badass piece choreographed by Annalisa Whittle, in which the dancers were wrapped in elastics and manipulated them to great effect), I overheard the young woman next to me say, "Wasn't Chelsey great?"

I leaned over. "Is Chelsey the one who's dancing in, like, five pieces?"

"Yeah," she replied, with just a tiny note of jealousy in her voice. "And she's a first-year."

In the ballet piece, Aejopstux (again, quite good, choreographed by Carla French), there's a moment where Ms. Higdon is spirited away by the two male dancers, Joel Hathaway and Michael Myroniuk. The remaining nine female dancers bunch together in the corner and watch (again, with a hint of longing) as the pair of toned men vie for the attention of the lithe first-year pivoting between them.

Meta-Dance Montage? Hm.

Mark Tardy Hopkins

2008-11-21T23:21:00.000-08:00

Forgiveness is paramount!

---

I'm often late for things. Despite the fact that I usually get away with it, it's a problem.

Last night, I headed up to birds & stone to check out Amber Lights (written/produced by Simone Saunders and directed by Jennifer Roberts!). The show started at 8:00, and I left the house around 7:48 because... why? I think I was playing Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (a game that runs at a crawl on my poor computer) and forgot to eat dinner, so when I noticed the time, I paused to shove something down my throat on the way out the door.

I leapt into my car, slammed it into reverse and backed out of my spot, just like I've done a hundred times before. Only, this time, the parking lot was covered in ice.

Usually, I can swing out of my spot with a comfortable space between my car and its opposite, parked on the other side of the lot. This time, however, my car just kept swinging around, right toward my neighbour's rear bumper. I slammed on the brakes, and we skidded in Hollywood-style slow motion, stopping a hair's breadth before impact.

Adrenaline freshly pumping, I headed for Memorial Drive.

En route, I somehow managed to tear my right thumbnail - nothing too dramatic, just a sliver that I would have later cut off anyway, but enough that it hurt. The sliver refused to relinquish its death-grip on my thumb, and so when I pulled up to birds & stone (at what my dashboard clock told me was 7:58 pm), I spent a couple minutes resolving my thumbnail issue.

Feeling much happier about life in general, with the digital clock screaming 8:00!!! at me, I hurried over to the birds & stone entrance... and it was locked.

I was puzzled. Had I misread the showtime? Was the run over?

I mused that perhaps they had decided to use the 1st St entrance, rather than the 16th Ave, so I moseyed over. That door was unlocked, so I headed down the stairs, where I encountered a locked door right outside of where the box office should be.

I shrugged and knocked. After a moment, a young woman opened the door.

"Um," she said. "We're about to start the show."

"Great!" I replied. "Can I come in?"

She paused. "Do you have a ticket?"

"No."

"Uh," she said, glancing anxiously over her shoulder toward the theatre. "Look, I gotta be on stage. I need to lock this door."

"Oh! Okay..."

"Sorry man!"

Slam.

Belatedly, realising that I had just inadvertently stressed out one of the actors, I thought about wishing her a good show. The newly locked door didn't offer any suggestions on how, so I headed back to my car, bemused at my predictability, and drove home to write a blog post about my proclivity for tardiness. Annnnd then I got distracted and never got around to it.

Tonight, after getting my "bad-ass" haircut at Swizzlesticks, I headed up to 16th Ave for a dinner/CYPT meeting with Mat. We wrapped up around 7:05, which left me with fifty-five minutes to kill before Amber Lights, attempt #2.

Normally, in such a situation, I would either head home or order another beer, then rush for the theatre just in time to snag a seat. But I decided, no. Today I will be early.

Showed up at 7:15. Had a nice chat with Simone and her brother. Returned Downstage's projection stand to storage. Ran into some other friends. Got a seat in the front row.

Compared to my normal routine, it was pretty relaxed.

I doubt this is any kind of turning point, and I fully suspect that I'll continue to squeal out of parking lots, hoping that whoever I'm meeting is later than me. But, wow, wouldn't life be way calmer if I could start being early?

Murky

2008-11-19T17:30:00.000-08:00

Missed a day! But forgiveness is paramount.

I did not expect to end up at Ming last night, and I did not expect to stay until 1:30 in the morning. Aren't surprises neat? Note to self: the Marco Polo is a damned tasty martini.

I feel swamped these days, in the literal "being sucked below the surface, into an asphyxiating quagmire of muck" sense. All of my jobs, all at once, seem to be screaming at me with urgent deadlines. It's all a bit deafening.

The trailer for Repo! the Genetic Opera brings me joy. I'm afraid to see the movie. What if it's not as good as the trailer? Tragedy!

Audacious

2008-11-18T00:06:00.001-08:00

A while ago, I wrote an article on sleep.

God, I'm optimistic sometimes. "If my work is keeping me up past midnight, it can wait until tomorrow." Pssh.

I need to stop writing articles with embedded resolutions. I don't make New Year's resolutions; why should I make promises I can't keep to an anonymous audience of magazine readers? It just makes me feel guilty when, once again, I find myself pulling an all-nighter.

Sigh.

Had a lovely evening. Caught up with various dear friends. Spoke French. Am exhausted and slightly drunk.

Should go to bed. Probably won't.

Naked Blogging

2008-11-17T03:22:00.001-08:00

I used to write for fun.

I started writing when I was about 15, short stories mostly. I joined a superhero fiction community called The Parodyverse (still around, a decade later - crazy!), co-wrote a crazy stream-of-consciousness novel with Colin Horgan, planned for the story that would launch my inevitable authorial stardom.

These days - after years of creative writing classes, journalism, editing, dramaturgy and criticism - it's rare that I find the "fun" in writing. Sure, occasionally I'll get caught up in an exciting turn of phrase, delight at discovering the precise word to best express my message, but mostly... writing is a job. Pitches, deadlines, paycheques. Which, when I think about it, is kinda fucked.

Now, when I try to write creatively, when I even try to come up with an idea... I freeze. I'll use any excuse I can to get away from the keyboard, promising myself that I'll come up with a brilliant idea later.

Hell, it's taken me nearly two months to muster up the courage to write an original blog post.

In a lot of ways, my life is awesome. But I miss writing. I miss the fun, the discovery, the creativity. And I want to get it back.

That's why I started this blog. I want to write, unfiltered, whatever leaps to mind. I want to write often. I want some of the writing to be shitty and embarrassing, because experimentation and failure are the only ways to discover something unexpected and magnificent.

So here's the goal: I want to post on this blog every day. Whether it's rambling autobiography, or fiction, or poetry, or a cool link, or a newsletter. Every day.

(Because, y'know, I'm not busy enough.)

So. Day 1. That's a pretty good start.

Stay tuned for Day 2.

Hopkins Happenings - November 2008

2008-11-08T17:45:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

Time for the monthly update on my various and varied activities! November has already been pretty hectic (hence the delay in receiving this newsletter), and I've got a bunch of stuff coming down the pipeline, including:

2008 National SLAM & Canadian Festival of Spoken Word
Salon de la conversation
Doing Leonard Cohen
Body Language
Sylvia Plath Must Not Die - Unplugged
Legion of Freaks

2008 National SLAM & Canadian Festival of Spoken Word

November 5-8
various locations

National Slam Finals: November 8, 8:00 pm
Central Library, 616 Macleod Trail SE
$10

So, um, this festival ends tonight. Sorry for the late notice!

The Canadian Festival of Spoken Word has been city-hopping for several years, and the 2008 edition landed in Calgary, bringing teams of slam poets from across the country to compete for the national crown.

I was lucky enough to MC two events in the festival - Opening Night on November 5 and Poetry Hotshots this afternoon at Cafe Beano. Both were fantastic events, and tonight four teams will go head-to-head for the grand prize, with special readings by D. Kimm, RC Weslowski and Regie Cabico. Should be a fun time!

Salon de la Conversation

Every Monday, around 8:00 pm
Kensington Pub
207 10A St NW

November 25-29, 8:00 pm
Big Secret Theatre, EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
$20-$31

My fabulous employer, One Yellow Rabbit, re-mounts one of its most popular performances. Doing Leonard Cohen is an homage to the amazing poetry and prose of Leonard Cohen, including excerpts from Death of a Lady's Man, The Spice Box of Earth and Beautiful Losers. It's performed by the One Yellow Rabbit Ensemble, and after glimpsing their rehearsals, I'm pretty psyched to see the show.

Body Language

November 27-December 6
Thursday-Saturday at 8:00 pm
Motel, EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
$12

Body Language, part of Downstage's Motel Series, features two performances: Do Me, by Jennifer Roberts, and Pouring the Liquid Unseen, by Marie-Ève Bonneau.

Do Me explores the dance of romance, as men and women clash, crash and unite in a series of vignettes. Pouring the Liquid Unseen invites the audience to a private transformative experience, which combines movement, dance, visual art and music for an intimate exploration of healing, improvisation and the fluidity of the human experience.

Two original works by extremely talented local artists. Check it out!

Sylvia Plath Must Not Die - Unplugged

Saturday, November 29, 2:00 pm
Big Secret Theatre, EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
$14 in advance, PWYC at the door

The Rabbits are heading off to Toronto to perform both Doing Leonard Cohen and Sylvia Plath Must Not Die, and this is Calgary's chance to see a bare-bones performance of the poetic performance that debuted at the 2008 High Performance Rodeo.

Ooh, let's use the description I wrote for last year's Rodeo Guide!

"Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, two of the 20th century's most prolific and complex literary figures, are inexorably linked, as much by their mutual zeal for life as by their infamous deaths. The award-winning One Yellow Rabbit Performing Ensemble invites audiences to revisit its voyeuristic journey to another era, where cocktails are swilled and conflicted souls are expressed in a cathartic torrent of ink and emotion. "

Legion of Freaks

Saturday, November 29, 8:00 pm
Royal Canadian Legion, Branch #1
116 7th Ave SE

Time for another Swallow-a-Bicycle party! Many of the details for this shindig still need to be pinned down, but for anyone who attended Lust After Sunset (or saw the pictures!), you know this party will be off the hook. We're going to have wandering freaks and weirdoes, live music and special performances. Watch for more details!

The event will be in support of our next production, Freak Show, taking place January 8-10 at the 2009 High Performance Rodeo.

For more details, call Charles Netto at 403.397.8559.

- - -

I think that's about it for November. There are a couple We Should Know Each Other parties on the horizon (#18 and #19, to be exact!), and if you'd like to attend, just drop me a line.

Oh, and - Hooray for Obama, boo on Harper!

Have a fantastic November, and I hope to see you around town!

Mark Hopkins

Overheard at Priape, near the dildos

2008-11-03T08:50:00.001-08:00

A man behind the counter, on the phone:

"No, Mom, a cock-ring! It goes around your cock."

Kinnie Starr on cell phones

2008-11-03T06:54:00.001-08:00

I also chatted with Kinnie Starr for FFWD, and this is how our conversation ended:

--

Dude, this phone is making my head turn numb. I gotta get off of it. I can feel the electrical current, like, eating my brain.

- Kinnie Starr, phone interview, October 2008

Patrick Lane on politics

2008-11-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

I interviewed Patrick Lane for FFWD a few weeks ago, just before he came to town for WordFest. He was reading at an event on October 15, the day after the federal election. During the interview, I asked him what he thought of Stephen Harper's disparaging comments about the arts. His answer didn't make it into print, but I think it's worth sharing.

--

It's not really new, Harper attacking the arts. He really would love to see CBC disappear altogether, he'd love to see the Canada Council diminished.

I think politicians are afraid of art and artists. They unnerve them because they're unmanageable. They're a disorderly bunch who'll come out with anything, and this scares them. A guy like Harper, who's got such a need for order in the world... none of his candidates can even talk, right? Only Harper can talk. This is a control freak of mammoth proportions, and control freaks can't stand disorder. Artists offer them that, and it scares them.

Not just him - the NDP has never been a friend of the arts. I think of the NDP in British Columbia, who had an opportunity to really help out the arts, and they were actually afraid of it. They chose not to foster a healthy cultural community. They thought they were fostering a cultural community, but they wanted to exclude the arts.

I've heard it before. I mean, I've been around for 70 years, I'm looking back to Mackenzie King. Louis St. Laurent was like this, Diefenbaker was like this, Trudeau was better, but everyone in Alberta doesn't have the greatest respect for old Pierre, not after the National Energy Policy back in the late 60s, early 70s. Mulroney didn't do anything for the arts. They make promises, Dion's made a few promises about the Canada Council, but words don't always get translated into actions after an election. "These are hard economic times, we can't just throw money here."

I’m amazed that Harper came out with this gala thing, y’know? I’ve been in Ottawa, to a few of the politicians’ soirees. If you think that the artists are walking around in tuxedos, go take a look at the politicians! I mean, these guys are unbelievable. The pittance they give to artists doesn't event compare to the money that they can spend on themselves.

The arts is huge! 10% of the Canadian economy is based on the arts. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry. You’re a part of it, I’m a part of it, and for him to wander around, muttering about artists, it’s kind of embarassing. It really is.

I’m not frustrated by this, because I’ve seen it before, I’m just saddened that we have to keep on going through it. Other countries don’t do this. France, Britain, Germany... Europe just loves the arts, loves culture, pumps money into it and celebrates their artists. The Americans are nutcases for it, in their own way. I mean, look at their election, it’s all about entertainment, it’s not even about issues. It’s all about Palin, and Obama. They’re more interested in Paul Newman than they are in the other guys. And then we get interested in Paul Newman. Why the hell we’re interested in him, I don’t know, he’s not one of our actors. What about Gordon Pinsent? He’s still alive, let’s talk about Gordon. But we don’t do that.

I’ve watched politicians come and go, for a long, long time. Sometimes I just think, same old, same old. I get a little tired of it, I’d like to see a new vision, but none of them seem able to come up with one.

- Patrick Lane, phone interview, October 2008

Hopkins Happenings - October 2008

2008-10-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

Since I'm always involved in a wide variety of events, I figured I would start a monthly newsletter to keep you updated on my activities!

October is a busy month for me, and here's the run-down:

Les Contes qui déménagent
R.I.P. - A protest against cuts to arts funding
The Wrecking Ball
The Opera Suicide & Scenes from a Revolution
2009 High Performance Rodeo Launch
Blanche: The bittersweet life of a wild prairie dame
Canadian Federal Election
Poetry Bash (WordFest 2008)
Grave Gala

Les Contes qui déménagent

Saturday, October 4, 8:00 pm
L'Alliance Française de Calgary
1221 2nd St SW
$15 / $12 for members of l'Alliance Française, l'ACFA, le RAFA, La Cité des Rocheuses

Sorry for the super late notice, but this is my French-language theatre début, and I'd love to share it with you! Les Contes qui déménagent is the first show in a French-language theatre season curated by M. Inouk Touzin, and presented by le Regroupement Artistique Francophone de l'Alberta (RAFA). The show features three short plays, written by Inouk Touzin, Gisèle Villeneuve... and me!

Each of the plays has to do with moving (déménagement), and they're performed by Stéphanie Biky, Marcia Mailloux, Stéphane Prévost and Julien Thibeault. The show is in French, but if your language skills are shaky, there will be an English-language summary sheet provided.

R.I.P. - A protest against cuts to arts funding

Monday, October 6, 9:00 am - 5:00 pm
steps of Calgary City Hall
316 7th Ave SE

In the days leading up to the Canadian Federal Election, artists and arts supporters need to make their voices heard in the national debate. The current national leadership has made their disdain for artists clear, both in their speech and actions. In light of the recent multi-million dollar cuts to arts funding, and the gloomy future in store for artists if Harper's government wins a majority, R.I.P. is both a protest against recent events, and an attempt to raise awareness about the vital role that the arts play in Canada's culture and identity.

The steps of city hall will become a graveyard, dotted with gravestones that read "R.I.P. - Musicians", "R.I.P. - Actors", etc. Protestors, dressed in black, will lie amidst these gravestones to mourn the impending demise of arts in Canada, if Harper's government is left unchecked. If you'd like to join the protest, show up at City Hall between 9-5 on Monday, dressed in black! I'll be there from about 9-10 am, and 3-5 pm.

For more information, or to get involved, contact Léda Davies (protest coordinator) at 403.680.2621 or leda_davies@hotmail.com

The Wrecking Ball - Calgary

Monday, October 6, 8:00 pm

Jack Singer Concert Hall Lobby
EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
205 8th Ave SE
pay-what-you-can at the door

In anticipation of the upcoming election and in response to Prime Minister Harper's recent comments about cuts to arts funding, Calgary's theatre community is coming together for a one-night only cabaret of politically-charged theatre that will be part of a nationwide happening. The Wrecking Ball is an evening of short theatrical works written, directed and performed by members of the professional theatre community.

On Monday, The Wrecking Ball events will take place in Victoria, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and Halifax.

The Calgary event will feature new plays by local writers Ken Cameron, Neil Fleming and Ellen Close, alongside a new piece by two-time Governor General's Award-winning playwright Judith Thompson. The evening will also feature readings of letters and other texts that illuminate the importance of arts and culture in the ongoing election campaign.

An amazing Who's Who of Calgary artists is involved in The Wrecking Ball, including directors Stephen Hair, Stacie Harrison, Kevin McKendrick and Vicki Stroich, and actors that include Trevor Leigh, Doug McKeag, Valerie Planche, Valerie Ann Pearson, Ryan Luhning, Jamie Konchak, Tyrell Crews, Rylan Wilkie, Chantal Perron, Alexander Arsenault, Julie Mortensen, Kathryn Waters, Brieanna Blizzard, Jane MacFarlane and more.

Proceeds from the event will benefit the Department of Culture. For more information, please contact Simon Mallett or Stacie Harrison of Downstage at 403.294.7459 or info@downstage.ca.

The Opera Suicide & Scenes from a Revolution

October 7-11, 2008
Performances nightly at 8:00 pm
Saturday matinee, October 11, 2:00 pm

Dancer's Studio West
2007 10th Ave SW
$20 adults, $15 students/seniors
pay-what-you-can preview: October 7

The latest Swallow-a-Bicycle production features two original scripts: The Opera Suicide, by Dust Particle Productions, and Scenes from a Revolution, by Charles Netto.

The Opera Suicide: Peek, the last of the lighthouse keepers, has three loves: Gin, Tyle and Reeve. He is everything to them: refuge, knowledge, hope. But when Peek is confronted by his mechanical replacement, he must decide between his three dark women and the tower's light that he hopes desperately to save. In this original operetta, Dust Particle Productions explores Peek's fatal dilemma through humour and tragedy, music and myth. The Opera Suicide is an epic journey that defies convention and reminds us that, in the end, we must each light our own way.

Script by Ben Charland; Directed by Julia Rigaux; Featuring Sadie Evans, Carol Farrelly, Mandy McKee and Andrew Oberhofer; Music by Allison Lynch and Richard Jackson; Set & Costume Design by Ami Farrow; Composed by Andrea Wettstein; Sound Design by Peter Moller.

Scenes from a Revolution: In a wartorn dystopian future, five characters spiral through each other's lives. A soldier, a prisoner, a general, a rebel, a doctor and a CEO come together on the chessboard of global conflict, where kings are sacrificed as easily as pawns.

Written and Directed by Charles Netto; Featuring Tom Cainer, Devon Dubnyk and Jacqueline Russell.

For more information, contact Charles Netto at 403.397.8559 or swallowabicycle@gmail.com.

2009 High Performance Rodeo Launch

Wednesday, October 8, 12:00 noon
Big Secret Theatre
EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts

I spend five glorious hours a day at One Yellow Rabbit, and right now, we're all up to our necks in planning for this Wednesday's launch of the 23rd Annual High Performance Rodeo. This year's festival has an absolutely kick-ass line-up, but I can't tell you anything about it until Wednesday, so come to the launch!

The event will be attended by His Excellency Jean-Daniel Lafond, Patron of the 2009 Festival, and hosted by Rodeo Curator Michael Green. Afterwards, we'll all head down to the Centini Restaurant & Lounge (160 8th Ave SE) for refreshments and snacks.

Call OYR at 403.264.3224 or visit www.oyr.org for more information.

Blanche: The bittersweet life of a wild prairie dame

Saturday, October 11, 8:00 pm
Sunday, October 12, 2:00 pm
Engineered Air Theatre
EPCOR CENTRE for the Performing Arts
$20 adults, $15 students/seniors
Wheelchair accessible

I'm thrilled to be the publicist for this original creation by Onalea Gilbertson. I've already written a pretty comprehensive press release, so I'll just copy/paste that!

Blanche is a song cycle that lives in the dream state between music and theatre. In her writing debut, Onalea Gilbertson explores the life and stories of her 93-year-old grandmother, Blanche. This original sonic landscape, underscored with Blanche's recorded voice, spans generations to create a poetic family portrait.

In the 1930s, Blanche and her friends embarked on a fantastic photographic journey with an old Brownie Camera. The resulting images, along with other photographs from her long and dramatic life, are carefully woven into the live performance, bringing Blanche's history to life.

This is the Calgary debut of Blanche, and also a release for Onalea's new CD! It features Onalea Gilbertson (vocals/piano/guitar), Jonathan Lewis (violin/clarinet/soundscape) and Morag Northey (cello/backup vocals), directed by Rachel Avery and with lighting design by Terry Gunvordahl.

For tickets and info, call 403.441.6033. Also visit www.onalea.com

Canadian Federal Election

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

It's the Federal Election! Vote! I'd really prefer if you didn't vote Conservative, but just vote, dammit!

The election takes place Tuesday, October 14. For more information about how to vote, visit www.elections.ca. Just type in your postal code, and a wealth of information will be at your fingertips!

If you can't vote on the 14th, advance polls are open today (October 4) and Monday (October 6). You can also vote by special ballet until Tuesday, October 7. Again, all the information you should need is at www.elections.ca. But if you're stumped, call me! And hey, I'm always up for a good political discussion.

Some good resources for artists and arts-supporters, leading up to the election, include the Calgary Professional Arts Alliance and the Department of Culture. Also, Vote For Environment is an interesting read.

Poetry Bash (WordFest 2008)

Friday, October 17, 9:30 pm
Vertigo Studio Theatre
161 - 115 9th Ave SE
$18, $9 students/seniors

By some strange confluence of events, I will be hosting this year's Poetry Bash at WordFest! Promises to be a pretty rockin' evening of poetry, with readings by Coral Bracho, Genni Gunn, Louise Halfe, Patrick Lane, JonArno Lawson and Randall Maggs.

There are a whole stack of other WordFest events to check out, including some featuring my dear friends Claudia Dey, Shane Koyczan, William Neil Scott, Jaspreet Singh, Samantha Warwick, and Sheri-D Wilson.

For more information, visit www.wordfest.com.

Grave Gala 2008

Saturday, October 25, 8:30 pm
Hotel Arts
119 12th Ave SW
$90

By some other strange confluence of events, I will be one of the wandering performers at Grave Gala 2008, the annual fundraiser for Calgary Opera. This year's theme is "What Would You Sell Your Soul For?", and I shall be dressed in an outlandish costume, tempting guests with all kinds of sinful delights.

The price tag's a little steep, but Grave Gala is supposed to be one of the year's most rockin' parties. Hell, I'm excited!

For more information, visit www.calgaryopera.com or call 403.262.7286.

- - -

Phew. Like I said, busy month. Hope to see you at one or several of the above events (especially the election! vote, dammit!). I'll toss out another newsletter in a month, to let you know what's up for November.

And, of course, I also have my regular We Should Know Each Other parties, and Le Salon de la conversation is still rolling, with French conversation over beer or whatever at the Kensington Pub (almost) every Monday, 8:00 pm. If you want more information about either, drop me a line!

Hope you're having a fabulous month so far!

Mark Hopkins
403.710.0093

New York Journal - Part Seven

2008-10-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Here we are: the last edition of my New York Journal. This means I'll have to actually, like, generate new content for this blog. Horrors!

Ah, but that's not until tomorrow. For now, let's travel back in time, back to...

September 23, 2008

Back in Calgary! In the good ol' Bear and Kilt, about to have a good ol' Grasshopper. Nice to be home, though apparently I absorbed my New York experience quite thoroughly, because I'm experiencing the mildest of culture shock. Calgary, as a city, is short! And fat! And nobody jaywalks!

Anyway, back to the Neo-Futurists and Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind (TMLMtBGB?).

In many ways, it's structured like a sketch show, and several of the "plays" were sketch-like: a frenzied re-enactment of the Large Hadron Collider being fired, or Joey realizing that, by association, he too is a loser. But even in these bits, the humour was a little more subtle and sophisticated than most sketch material I've seen.

There were a few "plays", though, that definitely set the Neo-Futurists apart from typical sketch comedy, and won me over.

For example, "403+", a play that initially excited me because I thought it might be based on the Calgary area code. The performers - not actors, as I was later corrected - sat on the stage with a series of hats, each with a photo of a loved one inside. They explained who was in each photo - a parent, a child, a sibling, a lover - and then revealed text explaining that emergency workers now keep photos of loved ones in their helmets. The play was dedicated to emergency workers who died in 9/11, and to those they left behind.

In another, we pre-purchasers and those who rolled a '6' were called up on stage. We received additional nametags, proclaiming "I am better than everyone else", and we shouted phrases to that effect, because we had paid more to be there than anyone else.

Erica, my stage crush for the evening, came on-stage and started washing her face, explaining that her grandmother takes amazing care of her skin, that she's 80-something and looks 65. She explains that, last week, her grandmother fell while leaving the bathroom, and fractured several vertebrae, and couldn't get up. She fell asleep and woke up and still couldn't move. She lay there for over 24 hours before she was found.

Erica lay on her stomach at the edge of the stage until another performer tagged her out, and took her place. And for the rest of the show, there was always someone lying there, waiting to be tagged out.

Damn.

From what I understand of the Neo-Futurists, they try not to play characters. They try to portray themselves as people, and examine real, day-to-day existence, as much as possible. They believe in random chance and chaos.

I dig it.

Earlier in the week, after seeing L'Image, I came to the obvious but shattering discovery that, in New York City, I'm not Mark Fucking Hopkins. I'm just Canadian Tourist #163. I really wanted to meet the performers. I worked my way up the line. I chatted with the front-of-house staff, the festival director, the gallery curator, and finally the musician herself. But I couldn't score an easy, comfortable access point to the post-show drinks, so I left toward other adventures.

I really wanted post-show drinks with the Neo-Futurists.

I hovered around the theatre, chatted briefly with some performers ("Good show!"), bought some chapbooks. I hovered in the lobby, met alumni from the Neo-Futurist mentorship program, ascertained the drink location, invited myself along.

It was awesome. I spent most of my time with Jacquelyn and Erica, but met most of the group, and they were all incredibly welcoming and friendly and generous, and we had a fabulous alcohol-drenched evening. It was a lovely reminder that, no matter how big the metropolis, no matter where in the world, people are generally awesome. If you put yourself out there, they will reciprocate.

On a less joyful note, when I first arrived at the Bear and Kilt, there was a loud group of white dudes, enthusiastically celebrating some kind of Hooters-sponsored bikini competition. They were yelling crude and mysoginistic phrases toward each other and the TV, and nobody - including me - challenged them, or expressed discomfort or disgust.

Fuckin' people, man.

One thing I dug about New York was that I could discuss politics openly and without hesitation. For one thing, everyone I met was very liberal, terrified of the prospect of McCain/Palin. For another, everyone had an opinion. Here, nobody's even paying attention. Harper, Dion, Layton, you hardly overhear any of those names in everyday conversation. Even the artistic community can't muster anything more convincing than "not Harper", which - don't get me wrong - I heartily endorse. But wouldn't it be nice to vote for a vision that impassions us, rather than against a nightmare?

But on a brighter note: the last time I was here, two guys, young, nerdy, were at a table talking about movies and life. Today, we're all back, in exactly the same seats. They appear to be doing math homework over beers. On the left, an overweight white dude with glasses and a soft whine to his voice. To the right, a small Asian dude who uses words like "essentially" and listens intently. I hope they're a couple, or best friends.

I hope they vote.

Gotta drink up. Off to see GRAND Ideas, with SITI Company from - you guessed it - New York City.

New York Journal - Part Seven

2008-09-30T16:36:00.000-07:00

Ahh! I have too many jobs!

September 22, 2008

I am occasionally stupid.

It's just about 5:30 am, and I'm chilling at the JFK International Airport after having spent the night - or at least a few precious hours of nighttime - in the nearby Days Inn. For $128.

"But Mark," you cry, "weren't you supposed to leave yesterday? From the Newark airport?

Why, yes. That was the plan.

Woke up promptly at 10:00 yesterday, and got myself showered, packed and generally organized while the rest of the house slowly woke up. Tried calling Linda, re: picking up the Bronx guitar, but there was no answer. Called Nadia to warn her the guitar thing might not work out.

When everyone else was up and alert, the whole gang of us - ooh, let's see if I can do names: Luke, Kate, Tom, Tracey, Andres - headed over to the Life Café for brunch. There was a nice circularity to that: the first and last place I visited on my NYC debut.

Just as we're finishing, Linda calls. It's about 1:30. We arrange to mee at, like, 149 St or some shit.

Quick trip back to Luke's for my suitcase. Whirlwind goodbyes. I briefly consider an online check-in, but figuring out the printer seems like more trouble than it's worth. Stop by the Pourhouse to drop off Kim Marie's gift (a blank notebook, for her memoir). Long-ass subway ride to the Bronx. Long-ass subway ride to Penn Station. Long-ass NJ Transit ride to Newark Int'l. I roll in around 4:30; flight schedule to leave at 5:25. I scramble, sheepishly, to the Air Canada counter.

"You're late," she tells me. "The flight is closed. I can't check you in."

It takes a few minutes for the message to sink in. Yes, the plane is still here. No, you can't make a run for it. Yes, the flight is closed. No, I can't check you in. No, neither can anyone else.

Well. Shitballs.

A woman rolls up next to me, same situation. She tries the freak-out approach. I try the nice-guy approach. We are equally unsuccessful.

No direct flights until same time tomorrow. No connecting flights that will work. Oh, but there's a 7:55 leaving from JFK tomorrow morning!

... whoopee! ...

Before I leave my new aircare friend, I clarify: "If I'd been here, like, ten minutes earlier, I could've checked in?" Yes. "If I'd done a mobile, paperless check-in on my Blackberry, from the train, instead of reading FFWD articles online, I could've moseyed right on to that awaiting flight?" Yes. That would have been a very smart move.

Call Mom. Call work. Call Luke - "Hey buddy, feel like sharing your pull-out couch for one more night?"

Ooh. Yeah. About that...

Turns out, after I left, Luke had a conversation with his condo-owning, London-dwelling brother. Who didn't know Luke was hosting couch-surfers in his pad. Who is not particuarly taken with the idea.

Okay! Onward!

Long-ass NJ Transit ride back to Penn Station. Long-ass subway ride to JFK. I sit next to a couple of gentlemen, who carefully adjust their (respectively) bleached-blonde, long-banged and brown faux-hawked hair an discuss Fashion Week at length. As I continue to eavesdrop, I learn that one or possibly both work in theatre, and are networking to get a shot on Broadway, or TV, or whichever comes first. The blonde, clearly the alpha, "needs all the fans he can get", so he doesn't talk about politics or religion on his video-blog, which, btw, he feels has been lackluster for the past couple months, but he feels obligatedd to keep updating.

They take, then proceed to admire and evaluate, several subway self-portraits. They've clearly done this before. I don't have their mad photo-posing skillz.

Short-ass AirTrain ride. I loudly announce that I'm in search of a cheap hotel room, end up at the Days Inn, and I spend the evening channel-surfing, mostly between Men in Black II and, um, Men in Black. I order a too-large mushroom and jalapeno pizza and two Coronas. I regret the peppers, but not the beer.

I sleep for a couple hours, dream that people are using my bathroom. Wake up at 4:00. Catch the 4:30 airport shuttle.

Which brings us up to date. Except, of course, those two days I've skipped over.

I'm gonna get me a fuckin' muffin.

---

I just had an egg & cheese croissant, some mango juice, and a fuckin' muffin.

So, flashing back, I ended my MOMA experience with a trip to the bookstore (where I nearly bought The 1,000 Journals Project, then... didn't) and ventured to their neighbouring exhibit, part of the special pre-constructed architecture collection. They actually went ahead and built... five? ... structures in the soon-to-be developed lot next to the gallery. I really enjoyed that aspect of it, taking a time- and site-specific opportunity to flesh out a project. The buildings themselves, though, were to my eyes unremarkable. The experience of walking through them was eerily like condo-shopping. People were continually opening drawers, or pointing into a room and whispering to their companion. "Look, hon. Wouldn't our sofa look amazing in that bare, mass-manufactured room?"

The whole experience was uncomfortably reminiscent of driving through a Calgary suburb, with cookie-cutter houses off the assembly line. Shudder.

I had dinner with Eliyanna, who I met at the wedding, at a fun little diner/café called PUSH. It was our server's first day, and she was resultingly scattered, but still cute. Eliyanna is awesome. We talked about sex conferences, and our wildly different appreciations of Spring Awakening, and politics, and her wife's Disney World fixation. She overpaid for her meal (for which I, the cash-deprived tourist, was most grateful) and hailed me a taxi going in the right direction. I learned how to distinguish occupied, vacant and off-duty taxis! It's not rocket science, but I hadn't clued in without guidance.

Off to PS 122! I'd been thrilled to discover, while walking home one night, that this world-famous performing arts venue was, like, next fuckin' door to Luke's. It's a public school-cum-performance space, with a really kick-ass vibe. I ventured through the somewhat labyrinthine hallways and emerged into the first performance site, a small black-box theatre. The seats were curtained off, and the audience - mostly standing, though there were two benches - surrounded a square, demarcated with a series of wooden structures. Wooden picture frames, stretched with white projector screens, were scattered around the edges, and a web of canvas rope hung from the ceiling.

So, yeah. My kind of set-up.

A woman split from the crowd and began a wide-eyed exploration of the square. A projection covered the floor, and we were introduced to The Passion of Joan of Arc.

I first saw the film at the final Mutton Busting Festival, when the Summerlad played a live soundtrack. I found it very off-putting then, and no less so now. There are nigh-constant close-ups on Joan, looking desperate, grief-stricken, pained, tortured, hopeless, confused, etc. Cut to a crowd of judgemental, angry men. Cut back to Joan. Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum.

Granted, the film has a cool-and-weird history. The first version was lost to a fire, then the second version, spliced together from outtakes, was also lost to a fire. Years later, a third version is found in the closet of a mental hospital.

Like - shit, yo.

That, in large part, was the subject being tackled in The Passion Project. The square was surrounded on all sides by some pretty impressive projectors. The perormer spins and scurries about the space, thrusting frames in the air to pluck a face from nothingness - a judge, an accusor, Joan. She hangs a fram,e then holds up another, hangs it, takes them both down, holds up another, hangs it. Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum.

Okay. There were solid elements. Often, a static, hanging frame would depict an observing judge or a member of the crowd, which by association positions us as members of the mob. At the end, she hangs all the frames, roping them together into a flaming pyre as Joan burns. The fragments of film, drawn from all three versions, nicely represent the film's own fiery demise(s). And it was created and directed by a dude who works with the Wooster Group. Let's face it, that's neat.

But it was boring. The dazzle of technology and the performer's technical aptitude wears off, and you've got a mournful woman desperately thrusting screens in the air to campture images of another mournful woman. Over and over again.

Such a cool concept. Such a great execution. Why couldn't it be more interesting?? Alas.

Then, down some stairs into a larger studio and Southern Promises.

I was surprised, given the venue's reputation, to discover a comparatively traditional theatre piece. Proscenium, script-based, the whole deal.

[SPOILER ALERT]

The story beings with the death of a slave-owner, who frees his slaves in his will. His wife reverses the will, then rapes the main male slave. Her brother-in-law comes to help her free the slaves, then professes love for her and they get married. He rapes the wife of the previously-raped slave. Shit goes south, white lady gives birth to black baby. Black lady is sold, black baby is murdered, white lady is murdered, black man escapes thanks to a large box and the U.S. Postal Service.

It was actually quite good. Shocking stuff - some very harshly racist portrayals, including liberal use of the word 'nigger', and profoundly disturbing scenes of violence, sexual and otherwise. My thoughts kept going backstage: actors who treat each other so horribly on stage, night after night, must have incredible bonds of trust and respect.

I'm not sure why this show was chosen for a space known for multidisciplinary innovation - unless I'm putting my own biased lens on PS 122 - but it was challenging, and politically important, and totally worth seeing.

Then! A few blocks southwest, for a performance of Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, by the New York Neo-Futurists, as recommended by Ms. Amanda Middleton.

All I knew about the show, going in, was that it was touted as '30 shows in 60 minutes', performed by the NYC branch of a Chicago-founded group. Sketch?

I arrived relatively early (y'know, early by my standards). Having pre-bought a ticket, I was put into a special short line and given a toy. I got all four balls into their respective holes, which bonded me with the other four pre-purchasers: an elderly couple from hawaii, and a young couple. He works on Wall Street, which was apparently been crazy lately! Go figure.

Enter the Kraine Theater, under the KGB Bar and above a comedy club. A cozy little theatre. The rest of the audience files in slowly; the price is $10 plus the roll of a dice. As we enter, an earphone-clad woman shouts "What's your name?", then ignores your answer and scribbles something on a nametag. My name was "Mashed Up". We're given menus: 30 items, each with a different title. At the end of each "play", they say "curtain", at which point we shout out numbers. The performers snatch the first number they hear from an overhanging clothesline, and perform that scene.

It was a nightmare evening for them. First, the sound didn't work, forcing them to run sound from an on-stage portable stereo. Then a pipe starts leaking - a pretty hardcore leak - on the audience, leaving them to monitor the water level of hastily-placed buckets on top of everything else they're already doing.

Despite the various and extensive setbacks, the show was one of the highlights of my trip.

New York Journal - Part Six

2008-09-29T18:36:00.001-07:00

Blogging is an excellent avoidance technique.

September 20, 2008

Phew. Problem with journaling is that life keeps on happening, with no time to write it all down! Which, y'know, is ultimately good, but it leaves me a lot to catch up on.

So. Um. After L'Image, I wandered over to Boog City, a literary festival/book fair. I missed the event, arriving just as the crowd was dispersing. Two people were waiting for the rest outside; turns out the woman had read! I apologized for missing her performance. She said it was okay. On an unrelated note, she has a sailor suit.

I tagged along for the post-reading diner visit, which was attended by one Jessica Smith, a Facebook friend I'd never met in person. She is cute and quirky. I bought her book or, more specifically, her omelette.

They were definitely writers, maladjusted in particularly writerly ways. I can't identify right now exactly which ways those are - maybe it's been too long, or maybe their eccentricities are too vague to define. You can tell writers from actors from dancers, though. There's just... something.

I walked Jessica to the subway, waved to her from the opposite platform, picked up some beer, and went to bed.

... oh, and bought some frozen yogurt.

---

Aaaaand now I'm in Le Gamin Café, no real idea of where exactly, near the HERE Arts Center. It is enormously difficult to pee in the street here! People everywhere!

Had dinner with Janette at The Park, this wicked place in the West Village with an indoor garden and a killer atmosphere. We're not sure of the nationality of our server, Simona.

My server here is Russian! But I don't know her name. She seems scared of my chirpiness.

So! Uh. Yesterday! Went to MOMA in the afternoon, which was cool but reminded me that I'm bad at museums. I spent the first little while in my usual internal rant - Why bring all these works of art under a single roof, removing them from all context, dulling their unique allure through endless hallways of repeating canvases? I made what I thought was a very apt comparison between MOMA and IKEA (endless hallways? get it? c'mon.), then amused myself by taking pictures of tourists taking pictures of Andy Warhol paintings.

While I can't say that my cynicism completely left me, I have to admit that I became quite absorbed in some of the galleries. My art history needs some serious brushing up, but it was pretty fucking cool to stand in a room with original Picassos.

I was more in my element in the special collection - more context! It was an investigation into pre-constructed architecture, and the alleged revolution that pre-construction had in architectural practice. I was less than impressed. While, again, my knowledge of the subjet is severely lacking, the emphasis on cost-efficiency and productivity seemed more capitalistic than artistic, and the resulting structures were... well, kind of spartan and ugly. Plus, the architecture that has really impressed me (see: Water Centre) is entirely reliant on and respondant to its environment, so I had to question the quality of factory pre-fabricated structures. That being said, it provoked some very interesting questions, and I hoep to investigate the subject further.

I wish all my gallery experiences could be ala Chris Cran in the Lab, with personal anecdotes and wine. Not a reasonable expectation, perhaps, but one to strive for.

Also, experimental artists are assholes. Soup cans? Groceries? Narrow painted strips of red? Ballsy motherfuckers.

Also, if it says right on the blurb that the soup can paintings were originally displayed atop shelves, why not mount some fucking shelves?

I don't know if the music playing is Spanish, Italian or "other". Definitely not French.

New York Journal - Part Five

2008-09-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

I cut my finger on a brand-new knife yesterday. It hurts to type.

Ouchie.

September 19, 2008

I'm now in a cute little Italian place near Luke's apartment. Interesting how I feel the need to situate each journal entry. Maybe that's why I never journal at home. "I'm in the bedroom. I'm in the living room. I'm in the office." Of course, with these entries, I'm always drinking, itself a kind of monotony.

Last night was cool! Check out L'Image at FIAF, which is huge. Chatted with the gallery curator afterward; apparently the cultural program alone has 50 employees. Fuck!

The theatre - which I guess is usually a catering hall - was laid end-to-end with sod. I wound up sitting cross-legged in the grass, presumably because I'm a hearty youth whose body is built to withstand such trials.

They're playing Frank Sinatra. Awesome.

A fly has tumbled to my table. It seems disabled. It buzzes, and shifts awkwardly, then lies still. A tragic figure, and I'm not sure that I can make its trials any less ... y'know ... trying.

So, L'Image. It was an impressive production, wherein a dancer, an actor and a media artist collaborated to dramatize a short story by Beckett. I quite liked the story: a disturbing and vivid portraid of a suburban (?) scene, a man, a woman, a field, a dog.

The problem: the elements didn't cohese. First, a projection of the translated text (in English) scrolled Star Wars-style up the wall. Partway through, a woman standing arm's-length from me, covered in tape and wires, started conducting an invisible symphony with subtle movements.

(Later, in the lobby, I asked about an incongruous sound mid-show. "I relaxed my hand," she admitted sheepishly.)

Then, the projection cuts and she folds into a fetal position for the rest of the show.

The actor picks it up. She speaks the text in its entirety, this time in French, complemented with sporadic and understated movements. She, too, collapses to the floor.

The dancer, this whole time, has been splayed on the grass as though he'd fallen from a far distance. He comes to life, leaping and spasming in startling, electric movements. His hands come to life and explore his body, eliciting a yelp when they reach his penis. He becomes a dog, traps his own pant leg in his jaws and leaps about.

Then he finishes, and bows, and the show is over.

All told, a thousand times more compelling than Spring Awakening. But for chrissakes, why not mix the movement-based music with the frenzied dance? The dance with the actor's dramatization? here is a performance that deserves a closing ensemble song-and-dance number. Instead, we get three translations/interpretations of an identical text, treading a predictable path.

New York Journal - Part Four

2008-09-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

Urgh. There have been better mornings.

Let's cheer up through another fabulous, adventure-filled blog post!

September 18, 2008

I feel great!

My schedule is getting crammed, and it's killing me! Slutty Puppets or experimental Beckett? Wooster Group rehearsal or ANGER/NATION? Bowery Poetry Club or Boog City Book Fair? Madness!

Saw my first Broadway show last night: Spring Awakening. It starred the older brother from Weeds. It sucked.

I like musicals; they're cheesy and excessive and fun. But the songs had no heart, and the narrative was uncomfortably moralistic, and there wasn't an ending, just an ensemble song-and-dance number that didn't resolve anything. Boo.

It's kind of nice to see crap on Broadway, though. A reaffirmation that I need innovation and experiment. Screw the mainstream!

Except for Rent. And possibly Avenue Q.

The bartender's finger is bleeding. Go team sanitation.

I'm attracted to dark pubs. Perhaps I should adjust my preference?

After that veggie burger I just ate, the answer is an unqualified yes. Need to start eating better, Hopkins, you motherfucker.

---

May be time to go off booze for a while.

Just checked out the Luxe Gallery, which had a comforting familiarity. Very New Gallery... no, more Stride. Anyway, a very artist-run vibe. Had some neat photography and video going on, especially this antique music video machine thing playing a ridiculous film shot in a wrestling ring.

I wish I were having more, y'know, life revelations or whatever. Well, I've had one. No more publicity. Keep working with Ghost River, keep publicizing my own shows, but that's it. I don't enjoy it. I get stressed. Time to stop.

I like the freedom here. I have my own schedule, and no expectations. Not realistic in "real life", tho. I put down roots, and I need income. Need to balance the day job with life.

Maybe Swallow-a-Bicycle can start paying. That'd rule.

Tonight: The Image by Samuel Beckett, in (presumably) its original French. Cool? Fingers crossed.

Then, maybe a movie.

New York Journal - Part Three

2008-09-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, seriously. Last one for tonight.

September 17, 2008

Oh god. My head. Oh god.

I was drinking for nearly 12 hours straight yesterday. Been a while since I've done that.

The wedding was lovely! To be continued.

I'm in a vegetarian restaurant, I forget the name, sitting next to an uber-depressing old couple. They're, I dunno, 65 or 70 years old. He doesn't say much. She says plenty. She asked him three times, in slightly different words, if he wanted to share a salad, then expounded on the details of the salad. When he stepped away to take a phone call (she gave him permission to take it outside, then prompted him to leave the table when it rang), she asked the server if there had been renovations to the restaurant since her last visit, three years ago. They had changed the lamps, and painted. She relayed this information to her husband upon his return. They ate in silence, interrupted only by her occasional question, "Do you like it?"

It just seems like they've been together so long, there's nothing left to talk about, which blows my mind. Politics! The impending stock market crash! Gossip! Arts! Bowel movements! There's an infinity of topics to discuss. Silly people. I hope I don't end up like that.

---

I'm now sitting in a park in the East Village. Some lady with a microphone is behind me, ranting about Satan and baptism. Some dude came up to me, said, "I'm sure this nice young man is on the internet. Are you on the internet, young man?" Then, "Are you religious?" Then he handed me a small flyer, with a list of anti-religion websites and books. Hilarious. Love it.

Lady with two dogs is on the bench near me. She's talking to "David", who she thought was trying to avoid her. Whether he was or not, they're chatting now. In New York accents. He called her a putz. Awesome.

Another dog-walker stopped to talk to her a few minutes ago. He introduced his dog. "He ain't had a woman in five years!"

Now she's alone on the bench, giggling to herself.

Got a fuckin' mosquito bite on my fuckin' elbow.

So yeah, the wedding was lovely. The ceremony was in the Secret Garden, a beautiful spot in the north-east corner of Central Park. It was short, and heart-felt. Jania was gorgeous and, yes, glowing. Chris was a handsome devil. A beautiful couple.

I met some cool people, who walked and subway'd with me to the Zipper Factory, a tavern/theatre, for the reception. I hit it off with Nicholas, Eliyanna, Helen and Janette, so hopefully our paths cross again! Also had a really nice chat with Kevin, the AD (?) of Rapid Fire.

Had some really intense conversations throughout the evening. Theatre, politics, sex trade, HIV, MS, brain tumours. Heavy stuff.

Split a cab with Eliyanna, then popped in to the Village Pourhouse for a nightcap. Started a really organic conversation with the bartender, Kim Marie, and all of a sudden we're in a bar down the street, and she's buying me tequila shots and telling me her life story. Very cool woman. She's an actor, taking a Master's in criminal psychology, raising her twin nephews. Fuck. So impressive.

Spent most of the day hungover in bed. Puked last night. Feeling a little better now. Hope it lasts.

New York Journal - Part Two

2008-09-27T23:31:00.001-07:00

Hm. This has become rapidly addictive. I think I'm procrastinating.

September 15, 2008

Oh god. My legs. Oh god. So tired.

There are a lot of very public ads for strip clubs. On taxis. Billboards. Very weird and discomfiting.

(Is that a word?)

I'm in Brasserie 360 ... somewhere in NYC. Somewhere on 60 St. Which runs east-west, because avenues run north-south. Fucked, hey? But I'm learning.

Times Square freaked me out, as I should've expected. Too corporate, too touristy, too busy. I arrived just as the fact that I hadn't eaten all day began to dawn on me, and just as my legs started to object strongly to anything but lying down for a nap.

I still need a nap, but I think I'm going to drink more beer instead.

Sleep tonight. Lots of sleep tonight.

---

Okay. I'm in bed.

Next time I vacation, I need to sleep before I leave. A full night's sleep, not this "accidental two hours" bullshit I keep pulling.

My schedule for the rest of the week is filling up, and I'm scared to even investigate further awesome art events, lest my head explode with overstimulation. If there's too much to do in Calgary, there's definitely too much to do here!

Had a nap in Central Park today. That was pretty cool.

Okay. Sleep now.

New York Journal - Part One

2008-09-27T23:13:00.001-07:00

Well. Here we are.

I've been meaning to start a blog for some time now, partially inspired by the fabulous Melanie Jones, but I've been having a hell of a time actually taking the leap. Maybe I'll get into that particular problem in a future blog post!

In the meantime, to get my blogging career kick-started, I'm going to cheat and post some journal entries from my recent week-long trip to New York City. Starting with:

September 14, 2008

I'm in the Life Café (as featured in Rent, apparently, though I'm ashamed to admit I can't remember it), about to drink a Sixpoint Brownstone - on the house, because I killed the keg.

A bit darker than I wanted, but not bad.

"Bill Murray wuz here" in December 2004. Neat!

I'm couch surfing with some dudes named Luke and Malik, and it's pretty chill so far. They have a kick-ass penthouse, with two rooftop patios. And a giant TV! And they've been super welcoming; I can only hope they'll enjoy me as a guest. I'm their first surfer, so I need to make a bitchin' good impression.

Fuck. I keep dripping beer on the page.

So. Wow. New York. I'm pretty overwhelmed. So many people, so much life and vibrancy. And a lot of fuckin' buildings, a veritable seascape of them.

I snagged a wicked marinated tofu sandwich for dinner, on Malik's advice. There are veggie options all over the East Village. (I'm in the East Village! I sort of know what that means! Holy shit!)

God, I need to travel more. It's so revitalizing. I feel so goddamn jaded at home. Here, I'm nobody. So refreshing.

The streets and shops are bustling, and it's almost 10:30 pm. What is Calgary's problem?

I don't know where to start here. Tomorrow, I think I'll just walk and see what happens.

I just got pie! Yay! Apple pie; how American of me.

I need to vacation without Calgary jobs hanging over my head. Paris was carefree; all I had to worry about was the Hard Rock, and I barely gave two shits about that place. Here, I'm racking up long distance charges for gigs I barely give two shits about.

Ahhh. My life is nuts, in the sense that it should be way nuttier.

A dude just took my empty plate. I didn't realize he was a server. Mucho disconcerting.

I watched Iron Man on the plane, which pretty much ruled, and The Happening, which was as atrocious as the name implies. God. "The Happening". M. Night Shyamalan should have retired after The Sixth Sense.

What's the deal with Gwyneth Paltrow? I used to think she was huge. Pepper Potts is fairly significant in the Iron Man mythos, sure, but it's hardly a star-studded role.

There's a Life Café t-shirt, but it doesn't grab me. Plain text. I want more exciting, illustrated shirts. A dude on the plane was wearing a hoodie covered in trees, with a cartoon monster peeking out. It was striking and I wanted to tear it from his torso.

I'm in New York! Holy shit!

New York is so drenched in pop culture. It plays an integral role in - what? Marvel Comics, Rent, half the Hollywood films made in the past ten years.

I think I'll visit Ground Zero. It's a site that has greatly affected my life. Why not see it in person?

It's really hot here. I wish I'd brought shorts. I wish I had fashionable shorts.

Alright. Back to the couch!